View Full Version : The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen ((The vote is in!))
7th Nov 2007, 03:16 AM
As I am a man who is known as much for his scrupulous honesty in the telling of his tales as for his amazing adventures around, across and in some cases through the circumference of the globe, I am constantly asked by my friends why I should wish to put my name--an old and most distinguished name: according to my family records there was a Munchausen stowed away upon the Ark--to a game for the telling of extraordinary tales and unlikely anecdotes.
The answer is simple. My reputation, and with it the retelling of several of my astounding adventures, have spread throughout the civilized world, across oceans, to deepest Afrique and farthest Nippon, to the twin worlds of the Sun and the Moon and the strange peoples who live there, and even into France. Therefore, wherever I travel I find myself constantly prevailed upon to tell these stories, which requests I never refuse, being a man of noble breeding.
I shall begin to describe the game presently, but first I must remind you of one important fact. This is a game of telling stories...but, while the stories you tell are fictions, my adventures are true in every detail.
Now pass the cognac. No, clockwise, you oaf.
It is the eighteenth century. A group of nobles are gathered in a location where there is a good stock of wine, and pass the long evening by entertaining each other with tales of their travels and surprising adventures. Little respect is paid to historical details, scientific facts or the bounds of credibility.
You are about to partake in a multi-player storytelling game, based upon The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen, written by the Baron Munchausen himself (whose noble personage is so ably illustrated above by Gustave Doré), but "transcribed and edited" by James Wallis of Hogshead Publishing. The rulebook, though slim, is immensely entertaining, and so much of my presentation of the rules, including the sage words of the Baron, is taken, condensed and paraphrased from said rulebook that you should consider it as essentially all directly quoted, except for any errors which are mine alone. Indeed, every word spoken by the Baron is completely true, barring three, they being "Helen," "amontillado," and "Tuesday."
But I digress.
The gameplay is simple: every player creates a character and, in turn, shall be prompted by the Baron (whom I, most humbly, shall undertake to portray), to tell a story on a particular theme. The other players will have an opportunity to interrupt the storyteller with objections or elaborations to points of their story and, when all the players have finished their astounding tales, a vote is taken as to which story was the favorite. The prize? Why, glory for family, crown and country, of course!
1. Duchess Miranda Cottington (FurryPanda)
2. Duchess Catherine Franstin-Margerit (pinkgirl4real)
3. Lady Eolyn O'Daly (annachibi)
4. Lord Boris Hogarth (Shenanigans)
5. Lady Elizabeth Danning (GeeWayrocks)
and so on in such fashion until all players have been accounted for.
I have had to adopt the mechanics of the game for online play (indeed, it can even be played as a drinking game!), but I think they are fairly straightforward.
Write, or ask your companion to write, your name, with the prefix "Baron"--or "Count," "Lord," "Duke" or whatsoever honorific is appropriate. If you are of foreign extraction, you may instead with to use a title such as "Graaf," "Don," "Sultan," "Sheikh," "Amir," or, as I gather is the fashion in the Americas, "Chief Executive Officer." In this age of universal suffrage, now that they have finally won the right they have gainsaid for generations, we must not forget the frailer sex too: "Baroness, "Countess" and so forth are equally permissible. If you must.
That is all that is necessary. You may, if you wish, add a single picture so that your storytelling companions might envisage you across the virtual divide. Beneath this, write whatsoever takes your fancy. You may also add your biography, which while superfluous may in itself provide some diverting entertainment while the drinks are being poured, and may perhaps influence your story. I have found it most useful for recording the calling-addresses and pedigree of any young ladies who catch my eye during the evening.
Once all the players have joined the party (with applications to end on Tuesday the 13th), they will be randomly sorted in the order in which they will tell their story. Only one player will be telling their story at a time, though other players have an opportunity to interact, as I shall in due course describe. Every player will be given an exact date on which to begin their story, which will consist of three rounds.
Every player will also be given a number of tokens--the exact number determined by the total number of players. The game can be played with at least three, but as many as twenty. If more than twenty people wish to sign up, then we will put aside the playing of the game, pool our purses, hire some mercenaries and plan an invasion of Belgium.
In the first round, I will choose randomly from approximately two hundred storytelling prompts and ask the player to tell us their story. Exempli gratia:
"My dear Baroness, tell us how a portrait of Henry VIII saved you from attack by lions."
"How was it, your Grace, that you became King of Mkolo-Mbeleland?"
"Tell us the tale, Prime Minister, of your involvement in the Royal Society's scheme to extract sunlight from cucumbers."
The player then begins to write the first half of their story. This should be at least 8 lines long, but no more than 30. The player must not conclude their story, but leave it unfinished for the moment--preferably with a dramatic cliffhanger that will whet our appetites for what is to come. Each player should try to outdo the previous storyteller, with a story that is bigger, wilder and brings more glory upon themselves. Stories should be told in the first person.
In the second part, other players will have the opportunity to ask questions of their own of the storyteller, to either ask for an elaboration:
"I'll wager, Viscount, that beyond the door you mentioned was an entire dragoon of fusiliers waiting in ambush,"
"Is it not true, Lord, that the Empress was not impressed with your gift of two giraffes and ordered you out of her bedchamber immediately?"
Or they may object to part of the story, as follows:
"But Cardinal, at the time of which you speak the Colossus of Rhodes had been a fallen ruin for fifty years, so you could not have possibly climbed it!"
"But my Lady, it is well known that the Empress has a hatred of giraffes after her lap-dog was eaten by one!"
Or any of a thousand thousand other possiblilities.
This is where the tokens come in. For every token a player has, they may make one interruption. If more than one person wishes to interrupt, the first person to do so takes precedence, and any others who may post an interruption afterwards shall recant, with a sincere apology and with no loss of a token. These elaborations or objections should be considered in the spirit of friendly competition--a true storyteller relishes such challenges--rather than as a malicious attempt to trip up their fellows. The only interruption that is not allowed is "But weren't you killed?" or anything else suggesting that the storyteller should have died, because the response to that has to be, "No."
(It goes without saying, though I shall say it for those of you who are dull-witted, weak of sight or French, that my adventures are of unquestionable veracity, and to say otherwise is to call me a liar and a charlatan, and sirrah, if you do I shall take you outside and give you such a show of swordsmanship that will dazzle you so greatly that you will be blinded by its sparks for a month. I am a nobleman, and I am not to be trifled with.)
Once an objection or elaboration has been proposed, the storyteller, incorporating the interruption into their narrative, finishes their tale. As before, this should be at least 8 lines but no more than 30. In my experience a good tale should be no longer; for beyond that the listeners begin to grow bored and listless and talk among themselves and throw bread rolls and play at dice or cards and call for musicians and dance upon the table and seduce the hostess and distribute seditious or revolutionary literature and plot Asiatic landwars, and other such distractions as might put the finest racounteur off his stride--particularly if he has designs on the hostess himself. The storyteller should therefore bring his tale to its natural conclusion at its proper length, and in a way that brings the greatest enjoyment and astonishment to his listeners. At this point the tale is done, the audience should respond with a few hearty "Huzzah!"s and exclamations of, "By my oath, Baron, that is the most remarkable story I have ever heard, and I drink to it! More wine!" which is always pleasing.
Once the usual toasts have been drunk (to the story, the storyteller, the host, the monarch, the most attractive woman present, the second most attractive woman present, the most attractive woman in the story, absent friends, et cetera), then I shall turn to the next player in line and the process begins once more.
This is how I envision the timetable: Once presented with their story prompt, the player has one day to post the first half of their story. Every player will know ahead of time when they will be asked for their story. Then, there will be one day for interruptions. If no player comes forward with an interruption, I shall offer one myself. The player has one day to post the conclusion of their story. Finally, there will be one day for some freeform camaraderie. I chose this for two reasons: first, to try and mirror the spontaneity of the in-person game (stories should be as little-rehearsed as possible), as well as to keep the pace of the game flowing briskly. If a player finds this absolutely unreasonable, I can allow some leeway; or, if a player is scheduled to tell their story at a particularly inconvenient time, they might trade with one of their fellows. I would rather have people join the game than drop out or pass it by because of real-life constraints, but brisk play is the spirit of the game.
When all are done with their stories, there should be a moment of pause. Sit back in your chair and permit the serving girl or pot-boy to recharge your glass. Think on the stories you have heard, and decide in your own mind which was the best. If you are of a scholarly bent you may wish to debate the matter with your companions, making reference to Aristotle's Ars Poetica and the recent critical works of the poet Dryden. Or if not, then not. 'Tis of no importance.
In common parlance, you shall each vote for a winner. At this point the game is over. Should the majority of the company wish, and not be so out of pocket or in its cups that it cannot continue, another round of the game may be played. The victor of the previous round shall commence the play, with the order of the following players once again being random.
I hope to rekindle the spark of adventurousness in the soul of man--and the occasional rare woman--which has become so dampened of late by lumpen pursuits such as theatre-going, novel-reading and the playing of whist. Cease using the fruits of the imaginations of others; instead use the visions of great achievements that my game has placed in your mouth to spur yourself onwards to great thoughts, great deeds and great actions. You too, my friends, have the capacity within you to experience adventures as great as my own, if only you have the ambition to raise your sights high enough.
--Karl Friedrich Hieronymus, the Baron von Munchausen, this year 1798
What he said.
--Fluid, November 2007
8th Nov 2007, 01:43 AM
Heh, hilarious prompt.
Name and Title:Duchess Miranda Cottington
Short bio: The good duchess is the youngest child of six of Duke Cottington, himself a youngest son. Seeing that there was no chance of inheriting the duchy Miranda set out to become a famed swordswoman across Europe, Asia and Western America. While accomplishing this with much flair and cavalier wit the good duke's predecessors, all four of them came to unfortuante ends. Same with her brothers,a lthough they were in slightly more suspicious circumstances. So Miranda became the duchess of Cottington and has been ever since.
Pic: coming soon
8th Nov 2007, 02:30 AM
((I'm going to try this,and probably make a fool of myself,lol))
Name:Duchess Catherine Franstin-Margerit
Short bio:The duchess was born to the Duke and Duchess Franstin,it was said that when she was born here was a mighty thunderstorm,such as had never been seen before in England,prompting the birth astrologer to say that she would be a strong willed child.Indeed this came to be,as she often was quite stubborn as to what happened in her life.She is currently married to the Duke of Conwall.
8th Nov 2007, 02:42 AM
OH-EM-GEE, Fluid, you are a freaking literary GENIUS! First your sim story, now this? *throws cookies at Fluid in celebration* I don't think I could ever write as well as all that (at least not in that fun, witty, aristocratic style) but I'll see what I can whip up. ^_^
Name: Lady Eolyn O'Daly
Biography: Born to Lord Seamas and Lady Deirdre O'Daly of Ulster, Ireland, Eolyn was the second of four children--two boys and two girls. Since her older brother would become Lord of the castle and Ulster, she was left to become whatever she wanted. Eolyn would eventually dabble in many different things, even sometimes disguising herself as a peasant to learn the more "base" trades, and traveled throughout the world as often as possible. Her favorite hobbies are silversmithing, fencing, and cultivating bonsai.hi
9th Nov 2007, 05:37 PM
annachibi, pinkgirl4real, FurryPanda--great apps, all! I'm glad there's some interest here, and hope to see some more.
And don't feel you have to worry about making a fool of yourself--this is just some storytelling amongst friends, not a cutthroat competition for the last space in that fancy-pants anthology. (The really fancy one--you know the one I mean.)
9th Nov 2007, 06:37 PM
I love this idea, and I’m so glad you posted it! I think I’m going to STINK at this, as I usually write in a more realistic way, but I think this has great potential to be totally hilarious, and so I throw my hat into the ring. I’m thankful that historical facts don’t matter as I’m rather clueless to that. Anyhow, here it goes.
Lord Boris Hogarth –
It doesn’t need to be stated that Boris is the son of an insanely rich man. (But I said it anyway.) His own mother being far too “busy” to be bothered with raising him, he grew under the care of a rather naughty nanny. The young Boris spent his days doing whatever he pleased. In many ways he is still much like that young lad. He is bored very easily and relieves such boredom with mischief. Boris loves travelling the globe and flirting with women. A bit full of himself, he always manages to come out of a pile of **** smelling like a dozen roses.
9th Nov 2007, 06:45 PM
How many people do we need before we begin, Fluid?
And could we start RPing now, just some light conversation to pass the time while we wait for the rest of our esteemed guests to arrive? I'd like to see how we all get to the same location from the various parts of the world. ^_^
9th Nov 2007, 07:07 PM
Name: Lady Elizabeth Danning
Bio: Elizabeth (or Eliza, as she likes to be called) had no mother. She was left on her father's doorstep, and seeing as he was far to busy to care for her, she grew up surrounded by tutors and nannies. She was treated very cruelly by these people, and is not afraid to stand up for herself. She has beauty, smarts, and cunning, (not to mention a taste in men!) and has used it to get to many places. Including certain men's beds.
Picture: Soon :)
9th Nov 2007, 07:15 PM
Oooh nice app geeway!
9th Nov 2007, 08:02 PM
Shenanigans, GeeWayrocks--welcome aboard!
annachibi, you only need three people to play the game, and we already have five (six, including me), so we're good to go. I figure to begin on this Tuesday the 13th, which is one week after I first posted.
I have no problems with some freeform RP before the official game begins, but if you could wait a bit, I'll make an "official" post to open it up. It'll be soon--I only have a moment now, and will need at least three moments to get something worthy together.
9th Nov 2007, 08:05 PM
((OOC: oooh, something "worthy?" This ought to be good. Can't wait for this to start; looks like a lot of fun.))
9th Nov 2007, 10:44 PM
All righty! I look forward to that, then. ^_^
10th Nov 2007, 01:05 AM
((Opening up for some pre-game freeforming. Keep in mind that, once the game begins on 11/12, freeforming will be restricted while a player is telling their story.))
The guest list of the wedding of Lord Walter Kennicot, the Fifteenth Earl of Nearer Farthing, to one Portuguese noblewoman with the eloquent, if cumbersome, autograph of Beatriz Flávia Rosana Gabriela Violeta da Orquídea was of such enormity that, in order to print the prodigious number of invitations required, the stationery firm of Messrs. Davies and Clarke, Ltd., of 37 Jardin St., London, denuded several forests in Wales and Scotland, driving firewood prices there higher than had been recorded since the Very Long Winter of 1586. It was well known that the young Lord Kennicot wanted more for money than for love, and as the Lady da Orquídea was Vizcondeza of a large fraction of Portugal it was for him a profitable merger; what the Vizcondeza gained was a matter of speculation, though certain lascivious sonnets penned by one of Kennicot's former lovers suggested a lewd, if plausible, explanation.
In any event, it was certain that such a gathering of notables, dignitaries, luminaries and persons of peerage had never before been assembled in Lisbon as for that joyous celebration. Every room in every inn and common-house from the Gulf of Cádiz to the Pyrenees was spoken for; unscrupulous hotelkeepers charged as much as three maravedis for hayloft accomodations.
The ceremony lasted from midmorning until well past afternoon tea, and while all present agreed it was as splendid a commemoration as was appropriate to extol, it brought about more dry throats and unanimated stares than sacramental awe. It was thus that, with the final Amens fading away with the last strings of smoke from the ceremonial incense-swingers, the guests made their way to the gardens, and to the tables of vittles and spirits of seemingly endless variety, to partake of the fine food, the finer drink, and the finest company....
10th Nov 2007, 01:15 AM
It was after the ceremony itself as Duchess Catherine and her husband Louie walked into the garden hand in hand,with louie holding a strong grip on catherine's hand,Louie was known for his wild jealousy and he had once had a man executed for merely talking to his wife.Catherine,bless her soul,had heard none of this for it was a well hidden secret for which she must not know lest her husband be tainted in her eyes.As they entered the gardens,catherine was taken in by it's sheer beauty,one which was to rival any other in the world.They had known the groom from previous business relations and had been obligated to be here though Louie would rather be somewhere else.They were about to make their way to the tables when they came across the Baron Manchausen (tell me if i should change it),Catherine curtsied and Louie greeted him as was customary.Louie took the priority of starting a conversation,"Well,good afternoon to you Baron,i must say this is an exquisite garden".
10th Nov 2007, 02:36 AM
(OOC: Fluid, you ought to write a book!!)
Lady Eolyn had not yet visited Portugal in her travels, and so when the invitation to this particular wedding arrived, she did not disregard it as she did most others. She did not know the groom directly, but was acquainted with a cousin of his.
After the ceremony, Eolyn made her way to the lovely garden, enjoying the myriad of colors and the pleasant smells. As she turned a corner, however, she saw a unique-looking man, whom she recognized as the famous Baron Munchausen, and could not resist striking up a conversation with him. A couple was talking to him as well, whom she did not know. She walked up to them and made a slight bow to each in turn.
"Failte, hello, Baron, I have heard much about you!" She turned to Catherine and Louie, "I am Eolyn O'Daly, from Ireland. I do not believe we have met?"
10th Nov 2007, 03:21 AM
((OOC: Oh my goodness gracious Fluid! I shall never be able to keep up with the caliber you put out! Lol ))
Boris lifted another glass off the finely polished tray. In all honesty he wasn’t sure how he got to this wedding, and he wasn’t so sure the bride was really a long lost cousin, thrice times removed as he had been told. The only reason he came was the promise of free spirits, and high ones too. He walked among the crowd, eaves dropping on conversations as he did. He had a witty walk to him as he swayed ever so slightly. He was always listening for a good conversation to insert himself into.
((OOC: Sorry, not very creative or long, takes me a bit to get into a character.))
10th Nov 2007, 04:19 AM
Miranda glided from the wedding ceremony into the gardens and grabbed the tallest decanter she could find. "Parties are so stifling," she thought to herself. The crowd was overwhelmingly large, Miranda wondered idly why she even bothered coming to the wedidng ceremony. As she sipped her brandy she recalled: the estate was only an easy day's ride from her duchy, it would have been rude not to go. And damn did the lord have some good brandy.
She strolled around, occasionally exchanging greetings with other local nobles, until she saw the infamous Baron Munchausen. Upon seeing the august personage, she navigated through the crowd to the baron himself and the small group of people exchanging courtesies with him. Confidentally she approached and inserted herself into the group.
10th Nov 2007, 09:48 AM
Elizabeth picked up a glass of wine, and stared at other guests. It had been a long ceremony, but she had attended longer. Although it had been incredibly boring to her, she managed to say awake. Barely. She noticed a small group gathered around the Baron Munchausen, so she decided to join them. Downing her glass of wine, she tossed her blonde curls behind her ear, and made her way over to the group.
10th Nov 2007, 06:31 PM
Miranda was rather bemused to discover that no one around the baron was talking, so she merely nursed her brandy. Glancing down she wondered if what she considered, "nursing" might be more akin to "chugging." She decided that it didnt matter given the lovely lights making everything blurry anyway,a nd was about to go top off ehr drink when a blond woman approached the group looking just as bored as Miranda was. Reluctantly Miranda decided to wait, to see if this woman was at all interesting.
10th Nov 2007, 06:47 PM
When two other women approached the group, Eolyn turned to see if she recognized them. She didn't know the blonde, but she had heard of Miranda and her remarkable swordsmanship. Eolyn smiled at her.
"Duchess Cottington, failte, I am Eolyn O'Daly; it is wonderful to make your acquaintance! I have heard much about your skill with the sword. Perhaps we could match blades some time?"
10th Nov 2007, 08:31 PM
Miranda was about to leave off to go look for some more of Lord Walter Kennicot's excellent brandy, when one of the people near Munchausen, a woman with brown hair, approached her and said, "Duchess Cottington, failte, I am Eolyn O'Daly; it is wonderful to make your acquaintance! I have heard much about your skill with the sword. Perhaps we could match blades some time?"
Miranda smiled faintly and answered, "I was unaware my reputation had so proceeded me. A pleasure to meet you Eolyn, I may call you Eolyn can't I, and of course I would be delighted to spar with you on some occasion. I guess from your accent that you are Irish? Lovely country."
With that, Miranda flagged down a passing waiter, who watched curiously as the slight duchess grabbed an almost overflowing pint of brandy.
12th Nov 2007, 05:09 PM
"Certainly you may call me Eolyn, if I may call you Miranda? And indeed, I am Irish. I am quite partial to my home country, as most of my people are."
Eolyn watched as Miranda took yet another drink, and was reminded of her own thirst. She alleviated the waiter of a second glass and began to sip it lightly, eyeing the Duchess and her alcohol.
"If I may be so bold, I must say that you drink like an Irishman," she jested, grinning from ear to ear.
12th Nov 2007, 06:48 PM
Eliza drifted away from the group, grabbing another glass of brandy. She wasn't planning on drinking too much today, but she could be a champion drinker when she wanted to be. Though she was English, her grandfather was Irish, which gave her the talent to drink as much as she liked with only a mild headache the next day. She looked around for someone to talk too.
13th Nov 2007, 09:39 PM
We're ready for the game to begin! This is the schedule for the storytellers:
1. Baron Munchausen (Fluid) Tuesday, November 13
2. Duchess Catherine Franstin-Margerit (pinkgirl4real) Saturday, November 17
3. Lord Boris Hogarth (Shenanigans) Wednesday, November 21
4. Lady Elizabeth Danning (GeeWayrocks) Sunday, November 25
5. Duchess Miranda Cottington (FurryPanda) Thursday, November 29
6. Lady Eolyn O'Daly (annachibi) Monday, December 3
These are the days upon which you will begin your story. If the pace moves along more quickly, players can start their stories early, but no player has to begin their story before their assigned date. Also, if those of you with assigned dates smack dab at Thanksgiving need some leeway, we can deal with that, too.
Remember the guidelines for playing:
1. On the first day, the player submits the first part of their story--8 to 30 lines long.
2. Once the first part has been posted, another player will propose an interruption to the story. Each player has one token--in other words, each player can make only one interruption!
3. The player incorporates the interruption into their narrative, and concludes their tale--another 8 to 30 lines. This also should be done in one day.
4. Once the story is concluded, there will be freeform roleplay (if desired) until the next player is scheduled to begin.
I, as the Baron, will begin; but, as the host of the game, my story won't be in the running for the most favorite story.
Your story should be told in the first person. Any text not directly part of your story--such as third person framing or introduction--does not contribute towards your max/min line count.
These rules seem straightforward to me, but please--if you have any questions, either ask them OOC here or PM me. I want everyone to have fun!
13th Nov 2007, 10:24 PM
The Baron Munchausen was at his element at the grand luncheon. Truly, the preceeding nuptial ceremony produced such a soporific atomosphere that it was a wonder some of the more young and more elderly of the guests found any strength to keep themselves upright in their pews. The feast that followed more than made up for any suffering that came before.
As he walked from table to table, he found himself in the company of a small group of nobles--nothing unusual, for the Baron was by this point accustomed to the modicum of celebrity which followed him. He noted with some pleasure that several of his newfound companions were ladies--the Duke of Cornwall's wife, Catherine Franstin-Margerit, a woman with the authority of an auspiciously astrological birth to back up her headstrong behavior; Lady Eolyn O'Daly from Ireland, who pursued interesting and diverse hobbies; Lady Elizabeth Danning, with a reputation for cunning as sharp as her fine appearance; and Miranda, Duchess of Cottington, whose flair for swordsmanship overshadowed a suspicious wake of corpses. Along the way their company was joined by one Lord Boris Hogarth, a mischevious aristocrat with a tendency to create scandals, but always escape them.
Following the path of least resistance amidst the overcrowded lawns, the company found itself in the shade of a wide gazebo, fortified with several bottles of some of Lord Kennicot's finest tokay. The Baron, pouring a glass for each of his newfound friends, held up his own glass, sunlight filtering through the amber liquid and spreading golden shards across the faces of the company.
"A toast," he began, "to the wedding of Lord Walter Kennicot and the supremely estimable Vicondeza Beatriz Flávia Rosana Gabriela Violeta da Orquídea. May their love endure, their fortunes prosper, and--may I never be accused of self-interest--may their wine cellar never be empty!"
The company raised their glasses, adding their hearty salute to the Baron's. Savoring the fine liquid, he set his glass down before him. "This wine," he said, "is of such a remarkable and unique vintage, that it reminds me of another wine I once had. That was during my adventure to Neptune, when I claimed the entire planet for the British Empire and for our King."
"I have never heard that tale before, my dear Baron!" exclaimed Lady O'Daly.
The Baron rose and bowed in the direction of Lady O'Daly. "In that case, my dear Lady, I shall relate the story to you, and to our newfound company of friends. Unless, of course, there are any objections...? No? In that case, I shall begin...."
13th Nov 2007, 11:13 PM
My story has its unlikely beginnings in a dispute over cards between two learned professors at Trinity College. One, a junior student at the university, had accused one of the senior members of the faculty of being a rogue and cheating during a game of Whist. Cheating being, between academics as well as gentlemen, an accusation of the most ferocious type, and considering that I happened to be present at the College at the time, I was prevailed upon as a neutral party to determine where the fault lie, and distribute honor and dishonor accordingly.
As my judgment of character is as keen as my sword, it quickly became apparent that, however unlikely and outrageous the accusation was, it was true: the old professor had adopted his intimate knowledge of binomial theorem to the application of counting cards. A public and harsh denunciation of the magister might have been the most emotionally satisfying path to next follow, but as I was entrusted not only with the reputation of the famulus but with that of the university as a whole, I decided that a private confrontation with the professor would be the most prudent course of action.
We scheduled a rendez-vous in the professor's laboratory for that evening. The old man was not merely a mathematician, but also an astronomer and physicist, as his machine shop clearly demonstrated: there were many apparatuses used to measure the positions of the stars and other heavenly bodies, as well as giant tomes scattered willy-nilly which (as they were laid open) I determined described such calculations as to make even the mind of Doctor Faust spin. In the corner of the chamber stood what appeared to be a giant cannon, perched upon a heavy wooden framework, that pointed out of a round window seemingly chiseled out of the stone wall for precisely such a purpose.
Assuming that the professor, being a man of learning and wisdom, would respond to logical argument, I went into the chamber with the intention of presenting my evidence and coercing from him a recognition of his wrong-doing and an intention of apologizing to the wronged junior. However, I could not have judged the depth of the magister's perfidy! For, as soon as I passed the doorway, he laid me low with a strike from his heavy copper telescope against my temple. I'm sure that another man would have found himself with St. Peter after such a pass, but my cranium has been strengthened from a lifetime of dealings with such dishonorable curs and I merely lost consciousness.
When I awoke I found myself stuffed tightly inside a metal tube, which I took to be the giant cannon which I described before. I began cursing the wretch with such vigor that I could hardly repeat in the company of women; but my own voice was quickly drowned out by a great explosion, and I found myself being expelled from the cannon at an extraordinary rate of speed....
15th Nov 2007, 04:38 AM
((Not entirely sure if this is exactly how it works, but I'll give it a shot.))
At this point, Eolyn asked, "Ah, but Baron, was this not after you had obtained your very heavy iron boots, which you were reluctant to ever leave at home?"
15th Nov 2007, 09:52 PM
((OOC: annachibi, that's exactly how it works!))
Why, of course you are correct, Lady O'Daly--how I neglected such a detail, I cannot say--it's hardly possible that this single glass of tokay has already muddled my senses, afterall, however potent it may be.
The dastardly professor had stuffed me into the cannon head-first, and owing to a slight disparity between my own height and the length of the cannon, my iron boots were sticking out of the top. I can but imagine that it made for quite a foolish picture, and my situation was not dissimilar to that of a hound pursuing a rabbit too far into its warren and, owing to the inverse disparity of the girth of the hound and the narrowness of the burrowed tunnel, becoming quite wedged (the resulting merriment of the rabbit as well as the professor must be directly parallel).
While the blast from the cannon was considerable, and I was propelled with great force, I would have been deposited in the Thames. However, the magnetic force of the Moon--which, according to some theories, governs the tides--latched upon my iron boots and attracted me heaven-ward. I was thrown in a great arc, past the Moon herself, as well as several other planets and lesser cosmological bodies, until I found myself plummeting into the path of the planet Neptune at such a distressing rate of speed that I imagined I would be crushed like a walnut upon impact, thus ending my adventures (as well as preventing me from making the acquaintance of my newfound friends--I raise my glass to you all!). But Neptune, as I had forgotten in my panic, is covered by one immense ocean, which cushioned my descent and, while I was not flattened, I was nearly drowned.
I washed up upon the shore of a tropical island. Perched upon a nearby slope was a castle of immense size but immense disrepair as well. I made my way to the entrance and, as there was a placard nailed to the door frame, found that it was the palatial residence of Neptune himself, the Olympian immortal. He greeted me warmly, having heard some rumors of my adventures--my fame has been spread beyond the four corners of the Earth to several realms in the heavens--and invited me to partake of some exquisite ambrosia (of so fine a vintage that I have never tasted the like before or since, though Lord Kennicot's tokay has some resemblance, thus prompting my tale) while my clothes dried.
I found through our conversation that Lord Neptune did not actually rule the planet bearing his name, but simply maintaned a summer residence there. I decided to seize the opportunity and, with oratory worthy of Cicero (which I will not repeat here, considering I have previously published it as a small pamphlet), claimed the entire planet in the name of the British Empire. The King was, suffice it to say, quite pleased when I returned and presented to him a new province to govern. The circumstances of my return from Neptune are equally as extraordinary as my voyage there, but perhaps that is a tale best left for another time.
My glass is empty! Send the bottle 'round, would you?
16th Nov 2007, 03:49 AM
((OOC: *faints* Oh my. I shall never hold a candle to that!))
16th Nov 2007, 08:33 PM
Eolyn clapped and laughed heartily at the Baron's tale, enjoying it--and perhaps a bit too much of the wine--immensely. "Bravo! I shall certainly have to hear the adventure of your return! But for now, let us have another of our company spin a yarn, shall we?"
((You'll do fine, Shenanigans! ^_^))
17th Nov 2007, 10:48 AM
((OOC: pinkgirl4real, you're on deck!))
Once the Baron finished with his tale, and the glasses were refilled, the first bottle of Kennicot's tokay had been emptied. While opening a second bottle, the Baron turned to Duchess Catherine Franstin-Margerit with a knowing grin.
"Duchess," he began, "I recall hearing rumors of a singular adventure which you took part in not so long ago. If you would be so bold,"--and with this he raised his newly-replenished glass to the Duchess--"perhaps you would explain to us how the mistake with your laundry saved the court of France from drowning?"
17th Nov 2007, 04:36 PM
Duchess Catherine nodded and replied,"Of course"
It was one particular cold morning,when i sent my maid to go and pick up my laundry,it was about an hour later when she came back with the bag.Thinking that it was mine i immediately took it from her,and went to my chamber to dort them out.That was when i noticed that these clothes were not mine,they were male clothes and when i took them out,i found a note addressed to a sir Charles Vanwall,it said that their plan to put a hole in the dam was almost operational and they just needed his approval,shocked by this disloyalty i took the note and hid it determined to put a stop to it.
((hope this is ok))
17th Nov 2007, 04:48 PM
((OOC: perfectly fine pinkgirl4real))
18th Nov 2007, 03:23 AM
The Baron, his head tilted towards the Duchess Catherine, nodded as he listened to her tale unfold. As she took a pause to quench her thirst, he cleared his throat. "Perhaps I'm mistaken (though I rarely am)," the Baron said, "but wasn't Sir Charles Vanwall lost at sea during his voyage to the Far East, while searching for the fabled city of Shangri-La?"
18th Nov 2007, 05:09 AM
((OOC: How does one acquire more tokens? Or is it jsut the one, period, end of story? Or middle of story, as the case may be?))
18th Nov 2007, 07:50 AM
((OOC: I had decided that, in adapting the game for online play, each player would only have one token. In other words, each player gets one chance to interrupt, and that way every storyteller has an interruption. In the in-person version, each player gets several tokens, and the interruption process is a bit more involved (leading, possibly, to a duel! If you don't have pistols or sabers, rock-paper-scissors will do.).
However, I think that because players may only check out the game when they are called to tell their story, it would be fine for people to interrupt more than once. Say, if a day or so goes by after the first half of a story is posted, and there are no interruptions, you should feel free to interrupt even if you've already done so. However, each story still has only one interruption.
I also decided that the line number min/max should be a suggestion, not a rule. You don't want very short stories or very long ones, but I think you should tell the best story you can, without worrying about essay guidelines.
Feel free to ask any other questions!))
18th Nov 2007, 08:03 PM
((Seeing as this is our first time with this game, would it be all right to PM a storyteller and ask if they need any help? Actually... I'm probably just being impatient. :D ))
18th Nov 2007, 10:33 PM
((OOC: That's perfectly fine. I also volunteer to help anyone, whether via pm or here in the thread. I want you all to have fun! There isn't any right or wrong here.
Thanks for the suggestion, annachibi. I think it's a good one.))
18th Nov 2007, 10:48 PM
"Well,that is true but that was just a simple aversion,so that if anyone caught this plan it would seem a mistake.I not knowing that,but wanting to at least make sure of it went to his castle and as i expected i was told that he was not home.I not giving up on my country so easily,recieved this news with ease and plotted to sneak back in the night.That night i sneaked back in with the help of my maid and saw that Sir charles was well and alive in his study,having read the note and knowing that the plan could not go on unless the other people got his approval,i grabbed the vase i had brought with me and hit him in the head with it,thereby killing him.I still shudder to think that i killed a human being,but i know that it was for the good of my country.After that we slipped away,and when we heard the bells of death tolling the next day,we knew we had saved the great country of france.
18th Nov 2007, 11:15 PM
Lady Eolyn was impressed with the Duchess's heroic deeds and sympathised with her sentiments regarding taking a human life. Moved by the story, Eolyn raised her glass in a toast.
"To Duchess Franstin-Margerit and the great country of France; may they both have health and prosperity for many long years to come!"
18th Nov 2007, 11:21 PM
Duchess Catherine was flattered by Lady Eolyn's toast,and she raised er glass along with the others smiling.
18th Nov 2007, 11:29 PM
The Baron raised his eyebrows at the conclusion of Duchess Franstin-Margerit's tale. "Why, Duchess, such bravery and fortitude! I'm surprised that such an adventure has not been spread throughout Europe, though I've often found that the affairs of politicians are often cloaked in a thick velvet of secrecy." He raised his glass to mach Lady Eolyn. "To the Duchess, whose bravery is matched only by her beauty!"
19th Nov 2007, 12:11 AM
"Here here!" Lord Hogarth raised his glass along with the others. Yes, quite a few tales that have been shared here. Wait till they get a gist of mine.
((OOC: Boris is full of himself, but I'm terrified of it being my turn. lol Having to wait till Wednesday to find out what my story is about is going to drive me crazy!))
19th Nov 2007, 12:14 AM
((Don't worry,i'm sure you'll be fine,i panicked toowhen it was my turn but yours will be good ))
19th Nov 2007, 02:32 AM
((If you want, I think we could speed it up so the Baron announces you sooner and you can get started sooner... if you want. :D ))
19th Nov 2007, 02:44 AM
Duchess Miranda raised her brandy in yet another toast to the brave Catherine Franstin-Margerit and smiled warmly. "Yes, it's always awful to kill someone, but alas there are so many good causes!" She sat back and waited for one of the others to speak, Lord Hogarth looked as if he was pondering some brilliant conceit to top off Duchess Catherine.
19th Nov 2007, 04:16 PM
((OOC: Yes, if somebody wanted to start their story ahead of time, that would be fine. Two things:
1. Nobody has to start their story before their assigned date.
2. If you start early, you should try to stay in the time frame of: 1 day for first part, 1 day for interruption, and 1 day for second part. That way nobody gets an advantage over another.
If there is a big chunk of time between stories, feel free to use that time for freeform rp'ing.
If anyone wants to start their story early, just let me know!))
19th Nov 2007, 05:14 PM
((OOC: I'm next in line and I wouldn't mind starting it a day early. :) ))
20th Nov 2007, 01:05 AM
The Baron seemed to notice, along with Duchess Miranda, that Lord Hogarth was practically nipping at the heels of the Duchess Catherine. He had heard of some of Lord Hogarth's adventures, but always second-hand.
"My Lord Hogarth," the Baron began, "I wonder if you would satisfy our curiosity regarding your own reputation for dramatic undertakings. Praytell, why is it that you refuse to enter any inns that serve cherry brandy or roasted snipe?
20th Nov 2007, 01:53 AM
((OOC: Oh my oh my. I didn’t even know what roasted snipe was… had to google it. Here goes nothing.))
Why yes good man, despite the fact that that is a tale most embarrassing to a man with such stature as myself, I will be happy to. You see, it all goes back to when I was a young lad of sixteen years or so, for even then adventure called out to me. I was on a hunting trip with the second Prince of Borovia, whom as I’m sure you all know is quite famous for his skill with a rifle. They even say he was so skilled that he could kill a bird with a single bullet through its eye. He did it that way as to not ruin the good meat. Little does anyone ever recall it was I who taught him that trick.
Anyhow we were taking a rest from the afternoon heat by lounging in the shade of a cherry tree. We had the great pleasure of being accompanied by a few extraodinarily beautiful women. None, I must say near matching the beauty of the women in our presence now.
Sorry, I’ve gotten off topic again. We were lounging under the shade of the cherry tree when we were startled out of our britches by the loud noise of a monstrosity coming from behind us. As we scrambled to get our britches back on, as I said we were scared out of them, we turned and I swear on the body of my dearest closest relative of which I do not know of, we found ourselves in the sight of Amkect.
((OOC: Interupt away. :) ))
20th Nov 2007, 02:49 AM
Miranda shot up. "Now now good lord, but you said you were in Borovia? That country hasn't a cherry tree anywhere on it's surface!"
20th Nov 2007, 03:35 AM
((OOC: lol You almost got me there!))
Now now Duchess, perhaps as you would recall, I said I was on a hunting trip with the second Prince of Borovia. You assumed I was in his kingdom when quite contrarily we were not. You see we had met up in Warvesolddar. This happens to be the very trip in which I taught the Prince all he knows to this day when handling a weapon. As you see not only does Borovia lack the luscious cherry tree, it also lacks the beautiful women that were with us. Have you seen the queen of Borovia? Anyhow…
I am not sure how well versed my present company is in the lore of the Amkect, so I shall clarify just how fierce this creature is. It has the form of a vulture, yet is thrice its size. Its talons are sharper than any sword created by man. It reads the minds of men, and communicates through telepathy. Legend has it that it is the protector of all winged creatures that take to the air. Very few have ever seen it, and many scoff at my persisting it is real, but it matters naught, as I have the scar to prove my story true. It is however on a rather improper area of my body, and only a few lucky women can testify to its location.
Why that monstrosity had its gaze settled on me. It had heard the cries of the many birds we had taken down that day, and it was quite angry indeed. It threatened to slice me open and stuff my body with the very cherries of the tree that I had just been enjoying the shade of. It put the fear of death in me it did. Thankfully though I was determined to outwit the thing, as I was not ready to die just yet. I promised I would not harm another snipe in my life. Predictably so the creature did not believe me.
Now comes the part that is quite embarrassing you see. As I was stepping backwards trying to reason with the creature, I tripped over my rifle that had been propped up on a rock. My suspender which was undone as I hadn’t completely gotten dressed yet, caught on the trigger. When the shot rang out the creature thought I had tried to take it down as well. He reached for me with his claw. Just when I thought my time was done, that bullet ricocheted off the limb of the cherry tree and right into that bird’s eye. It flailed about so that its wing hit the very branch that had been weakened by the bullet, bringing it down on top of it.
So there I lay with the massive Amkect and a branch from the cherry tree atop of me. Any other man would have been crushed by such weight. Thankfully my friend the Prince and our companions were able to pull me out from under the heap of things.
So you see Baron, I avoid anything having to do with Snipe and Cherries, as just the sight of them brings back the memory of that most horrid afternoon. Surely I could never sleep within the walls of an Inn that served bad memories. And if any woman here doubts my tail, I'm sure we could arrange for a private viewing of my scar.
((OOC: That ended up longer than intended. Hope it's okay. lol It was great fun being able to tell a tall tale. Even though Lord Boris is a bit rash for me. :) ))
20th Nov 2007, 04:11 AM
((OOC: Ain't gonna lie, I left that as a loophole. I was going to do something with the Ameckt, but I decided not to. But whatev.))
Miranda nodded an acknowledgement. "Very impressive Lord Hogarth! A real Ameckt? My my I would scream my head off in a situation like that! Most carrion birds have fragile eardrums you see. But I must compliment your calm and good sense. A toast! And where is a tray of wine when you need one?"
20th Nov 2007, 04:12 AM
Eolyn, having an interest in myths and legends, was intrigued by this Amkect of which she had previously never heard. "I know nothing about this Amkect, my Lord Boris, but I must say it sounds much like the creature known as a Cockatrice. You must tell me more about this!"
((Seriously, is the Amkect something real or did you make it up? And yes, I would like to know about it. ^_^ We have some time to kill, so go ahead.))
20th Nov 2007, 04:33 AM
((OOC: FurryPanda... I'm very thankful that you left it as a loophole. :)
annachibi- Actually... I totally made the whole thing up. Lord Boris on the other hand is 100% certain it happened.))
Why Lady O'Daly do not be too harsh upon yourself, as many of today's scholars have dismissed the bird's existance as drunken men's tall tale. Therefore they don't care to teach young women like yourself about it. I am not sure how much more I can detail the creature. However, if you are ever in Borovia, tell the second Prince I sent you. See, after they removed me out from under the large creature, he plucked one of it's tail feathers as a momento. He has it in his private quarters to this day, I dare say it is larger than a child!
20th Nov 2007, 06:38 AM
"Lord Hogarth, what with all this excellent liquor flowing so freely, how are you not a drunken man weaving tall tales? But truly I do not know overmuch of these Ameckts either. At least cockatrices exist! American birdie, cockatrices."
25th Nov 2007, 04:29 PM
The end of Lord Hogarth's story also signaled the end of the bottle of tokay. Fortunately, a second bottle had been secreted from Lord Kennicot's cellar, and as Baron Munchausen fought the cork, he turned with interest to the Lady Elizabeth Danning.
"Lady Danning," he began as he struggled against the stubborn cork, "I seem to recall a story of similar peculiarity in which you were the primary player. Perhaps you would be good enough to explain to us why you showed the Empress of Sweden's bloomers to the town of Dusseldorf?"
25th Nov 2007, 05:34 PM
"Well, Baron, it all started at a party.
The food and wine were plentiful, many couples were dancing, and the Empress Of Sweden may have had a little too much to drink. She came rushing towards me, large dress seperating the crowd - though why she was wearing a wide one was beyond me, thin dresses are all the fashion now, - and confronted me.
'Lady Danning,' she said, 'I believe my husband, Emperor Viktor may be cheating on me. I ask you, my good friend, to help me reveal the truth of his unlawful antics to the town. The whole of Dusseldorf deserve to know what a cad they have for a king.' And being the helpful person that I am, I replied
'Empress Margarete, I am honoured you asked me to help, and I shall not fail my task,' before retiring to my room with a Swedish lord who left that Court for undiscolsed reasons. The very next night, during dinner, a most peculiar photo fell into my lap," Eliza paused to take a drink of wine, wondering if anyone would interupt her.
27th Nov 2007, 06:21 AM
The Baron coughed discretely. "I have, myself, visited Dusseldorf on several occasions," he said, tilting his glass, "and it was always my impression that, with the Emperor being fond more of painted portraiture than that of the photographer, had sentenced to no less than one hundred years in prison anyone found keeping a photograph on their person?"
27th Nov 2007, 07:08 PM
(( :lol: Funny! Fluid, you come up with the best stuff! :D ))
28th Nov 2007, 04:04 PM
"Baron, while that may be true, I quickly hid the photo in the layers of my dress, and no-one knew any different. After this dinner I was alone in my room. Lighting a candle, I looked at the photo, and got a shock! It was not of the Emperor with another woman, it was the Empress with another man! Of course, I had to inform Emperor Viktor of what his wife was up too. Immediately wrapping a robe around myself, I hurried to his study, where he was still awake, poring over legal documents. I informed him of what was happeing and such a rage he flew into! The next morning I awoke and went to his chambers, and he told me that he was adressing the town. I went with him and he announced that the Empress had committed a foul act, and must be humiliated. He gave me a photograph to hold up, saying it was the one exception he would allow, and that photo I showed the town, was the Empresses' bloomers. That is my tale."
28th Nov 2007, 05:40 PM
Eolyn blushed at this story, though she had a grin on her face. "My, my, what an interesting turn of events. I certainly would not want my negligeé on display for all the town to see! Bravo, Lady Danning, for not turning a brilliant shade of crimson while telling your tale."
29th Nov 2007, 05:28 PM
'What an amazing tale," announced the Baron, replenishing his glass. "It reminds me of another I heard recently--in which you were the primary actor, Duchess Miranda Cottington. I'm aware of only the most insignificant aspects of your adventure, so perhaps you could make us all aware of why the apes on the Rock of Gibraltar regard you as the leader of their pack?"
30th Nov 2007, 02:40 AM
"Now now now Baron, I'm glad you asked, I've been looking to set the record straight on that matter. You see the Apes of Gibraltar truly are a marvelous bunch. They even seem to take on the finest charachteristics of modern civilization, with thier leader chosen by ballot. They are rather crude in thier system, as it is on large fern leaves as opposed to paper, but for monkeys, I find it rather impressive.
Anyway, I was in the region due to the fact that my father's sword had been taken from me by outlandish rogues while I was passing through Spain. The fellows jumped me and I was outnumbered thirty to one, elsewise, I would never have been overcome. With my sword gone and no other pressing concerns I followed them into the woods, and they led a merry chase across what seemed like the enitre eastern hemisphere, even Nepal and China! Eventually we wound up in the forests of Gibraltar, and I lost my quarry.
I searched aimlessly for several days and then where do I find myself but in the center of a huge clearing, with apes hooting at me on every side! I felt it unsporting to shoot on monkeys, after all they don't know any better, so I was led off through a truly dizzying set of forest paths. We wound up at a pleasant stream with quietly tweeting birds, huge grass hammocks and the occasional tree house. I wasn't quite appreciating the beauty of the little ape village, however, as I was tied to a tree.
1st Dec 2007, 06:39 PM
"Why, your narrative has several points of such interest that I'm certain it shall be remembered for at least five or six decades to come, if not longer!" exclaimed the Baron. "But, there is one thing which puzzles me. Aren't the apes of Gibraltar possessed of such a stict system of morality that they would never think to look upon a woman, let alone place their hands upon one?"
2nd Dec 2007, 06:01 PM
"Baron, I was just about to get to that point in my tale. As is well known, the apes of Gibraltar will not harm a lady, however by that point I hardly fit the bill, having been gallivanting through the far east for months in breeches. They probably couldn't tell the sliughtest difference between me and anyone else who wanders their forests making general havoc.
Indeed the people that stole my sword had been waging guerilla warfare of sorts upon the poor apes, and upon realizing my gender, and the fact that I was not one of them they humbly requested my assistance, in a manner remarkably similar to being quietly escorted to the brutes camp, by way of ape-like puppy dog eyes. The rogues, upon seeing me burst out laughing and were caught in helpless convulsions. I can't really blame them, it does not do a girl good to be wandering in ape country for days with no running water!
Seeing my oppurtunity, I took back my sword, gave a stirring speech on the value of the environment, and seeing as they were still rolling about helplessly, I tied them up to leave for the apes' justice. When I wandered back to their encampment the apes chivvied me onto a woven sedan chair-like object, and carried me to a platform where two of the apes were standing.
I was getting quite nervous by then, after all I was armed with a sporting weapon, but the apes were quite adamant about me not leaving the platform while copious amounts of fern leaves with red dirt markings were deposited at the platform's foot. Finally the last ape dropped his leaf, a fearsome looking old silver back counted them, and I was carried off on the sedan chair again to a throne.
I assumed that somehow I was thier duly elected queen, but I explained to them that I had a duchy to run, and the reluctantly let me leave with much fanfare and some jungle wine. I have vistied them a few times, and am always welcome there as the ape queen who abdicated.
3rd Dec 2007, 12:29 PM
((OOC: "guerilla warfare," I love it!))
It was at this point that the Baron, finding that his glass was nearly empty and that the two bottles of Lord Kennicot's tokay had been drained to the dregs, signalled to a nearby servant to fetch another bottle from the Lord's cellar. "It seems," he said with a rueful glance at his glass, "that I have but one toast-worth of wine left in my glass, but I with heartfelt pleasure raise my glass and give it to you, Duchess Cottington!" And, indeed, he finished off his tokay with a salute to his companions.
"While we wait for this dullard servant who allowed us to be caught in such a parched situation," continued the Baron, "perhaps you, Lady O'Daly, would enlighten us with the details of an adventure which I have only heard alluded to by a former companion of mine? How, on your celebrated crossing of the Sahara desert, were you able to eat your camel one night and still ride it the following day?"
3rd Dec 2007, 06:19 PM
((I think I've heard an actual story like that, Fluid!))
"Well, as you all know, I am a curious sort, and I will do just about anything once simply to experience it. As I was on my way to Egypt to see the pyramids and learn about the ancients, I came across a strange old man selling camels. He had only two, and looked to be in dire poverty. I took pity on him and bought one of the camels for twice what it was worth. He thanked me profusely and went on his way.
"Now, for those of you who are not acquainted with camels, they are usually rather disgusting creatures. They spit, fart, and make terrible noises. This one, however, was absolutely calm and quiet. I was wondering whether it was perhaps afflicted, when suddenly it spoke!
"'Why did you buy me from that old man?' it asked. 'You don't need a camel to get where you're going.'
"Looking around to see if I was hearing someone else, I saw we were in a deserted alleyway. 'Did you just talk?' I asked the camel in a whisper.
"'Yes,' it replied. Indeed, its lips moved with the words!
"'Well... I bought you because I thought the old man needed the money,' I said.
"'What will you do with me now?'
"I thought for a moment. 'I'm not sure, really. What do you want me to do with you?'
"'Take me to the Sahara Desert. I've always wanted to go there!'
"And so, my trip to Egypt began its detour to the Sahara."
3rd Dec 2007, 07:34 PM
((OOC: Oh my... I'm glad I didn't get that one!))
Lord Boris Hogarth, couldn't seem to get passed Lady O'Daly'a first sentence. "...I will do just about anything once simply to experience it." A rather large grin that any proper man would have been embarrassed to bare laid upon his lips.
"Please Lady, excuse a man's impertinence, but I was under the impression that exportation of camels from the middle east had been outlawed. As I recall, it had something to do with the dear Queen's most unfortunate run in with the dirty creatures. Surely the man and his goods would have been confiscated by the royal authorities."
((OOC: Ehh... It's weak... but I can't think of anything else, and I hadn't interrupted anyone yet.))
5th Dec 2007, 07:27 PM
"Of course, Lord Hogarth, that would have infinitely complicated things was I to take him with me to Egypt. However, seeing as I was not intending to do any camel-smuggling, I was perfectly safe.
"The talking camel told me she would take me to a village in the middle of the Sahara. I packed food and provisions for the trip, and we journeyed for perhaps two weeks straight into the heart of the desert. On the 15th day, we arrived at a group of huts situated around an oasis. It seemed completely empty. We went from hut to hut, looking inside and calling out for anyone who might still be there. Eventually, we found a baby camel in one of the huts, shaking and confused. I looked to my own camel for an explanation.
"'This is supposed to be the village of the camels,' she told me. 'We have lived here without human intereference for hundreds of years. But it seems the time of peace has come to an end.' She knelt down on her forelegs and nuzzled the baby. 'Come, little one. We will take care of you.'
"Once the two camels had grazed and eaten their fill, it was time to depart. Unfortunately, my own stock of food had run out. I had assumed when she said 'village,' that she meant some sort of human civilization and I would be able to replenish our supplies there, but no such luck. After about a week on our journey back, I was famished and near death. When we set up camp that night, the camel instructed me to build a large fire with a spit.
"'Why? We have no food,' I said.
"'You must eat or you will die. I will be your food.'
"'What?! Certainly not!' I protested.
"But her logic was infallible. In the end, my hunger and sense of self-preservation won out, and I feasted with tears streaming down my face. When I had finished, I put out the fire and curled up to sleep, full of regret.
"I woke up in the morning with my head upon something warm and soft. Turning round, I saw, not the baby camel, but the same full-grown camel I thought I had eaten the night before! I jumped up, startled out of my skin!
"'Wha--?! You're dead! I ate you!' I shouted, losing all composure.
"She stood up and stared me straight in the face. 'You selflessly bought a camel from a poor old man, even though you had no use for one. Then you went out of your way to do what that camel requested of you. Finally, even when it was necessary for your own survival, you killed that same camel with remorse that humans usually only show for other humans. When you return to your home in Ireland, you will find a gift from my master.'
"Indeed, when I did get home a few months later, I found a package waiting for me. Inside was a pair of ornately embroidered camel-saddles. Suddenly, I heard a noise, and turning around, I saw my two beloved camels sauntering up to me. How they got there, and what magic I had witnessed, I will probably never know. So concludes my tale."
6th Dec 2007, 09:30 PM
Once Lady O'Daly had finished her narrative, the Baron, finding his glass once again replenished (as well as finding one of the servants slinking away with apologies for having let the company go so long without any liquid sustenance), immediately rose and bowed to her. "Indeed, my lady," he started with newly-revitalized throat," that is one of the most unusual tales I have heard for some time, barring of course one or two of my own expeditions to the arid desert in the past several years. I raise my glass to you!" And so he did, the sunlight wavering through the deep red liquid and casting a crimson shadow upon the floor of the gazebo.
"I find myself recalling the situation I once found myself in, when I visited the cannibals of the deep jungles of Peru. In order to decide which of the village elders would enjoy the ceremonial evening meal, they would each tell a story of much splendor, and then vote upon which of them had told the most entertaining and delightful, the winner so being would sup upon the delicious stew. Finding myself in the stew pot--as I was being prepared to be the meal in question--it took one of my most ingenious machinations to escape. That, of course, is a tale for another time, but I think that the contest would be most interesting upon this occasion. Of course, none of you would actually seek to sup upon one of the company--at least, I think not--but perhaps we could have a wager of sorts.
"And so I propose that we determine which of you has told the most splendiferous and exciting adventure this afternoon, with the winner agreeing to, upon some future occasion, host us all with their most delicious wine, in copious amounts, as well as their tastiest provender.
"Do you agree to my little wager?"
((OOC: At this point, cast your vote for the most entertaining tale, though I, the Baron, recuse myself--simply because I am the host, not because I do not wish to share my private cellar!))
7th Dec 2007, 03:37 AM
"An excellent idea, my dear Baron," said Lady O'Daly, raising her glass as well. "I would say that all the tales we've heard today are wonderful, but I did much enjoy Duchess Cottington's story about the apes. I must therefore vote for her."
7th Dec 2007, 04:08 AM
"Well Baron, we all know that you are the king of tales now, it's awfully polite of you to bow out. I would have to voice my opinion in that a picture of the Duchess in her britches quite fancies my funny side. I vote for Lady Danning."
7th Dec 2007, 10:27 PM
Miranda bowed her head at the compliments and raised her glass. "Thank you for the sentiments, but I must say that Lord Hogarth's tale was a wonder of fascination to me, I simply must vote for him. However, when our lovely hosts return, if thier explanation for why the liquor was gone so long does not eclipse any tale we've heard, I shall simply scream!" She laughed merrily and drained her glass.
14th Dec 2007, 12:50 PM
((OOC: We're just waiting for your votes, pinkgirl4real and GeeWayrocks, and we can declare a winner!))
14th Dec 2007, 02:31 PM
((>.< Knew there was something I had to do))
"I hate to choose, but I have to admit, my favourite tale was that of Lady O'Daly."
24th Dec 2007, 11:24 PM
((Has everyone voted yet? Should we PM those who haven't or something?))
25th Dec 2007, 03:11 AM
((OOC: Everyone except for pinkgirl4real has voted. I had PMed her some time ago, and was planning to wait until after Xmas to PM her again; if she doesn't get her vote in soon, we'll have to choose without her--perhaps the Duchess had indulged in too much fine tokay and was unable to cast her vote due to the fact that she had discreetly fallen asleep!))
1st Jan 2008, 01:14 AM
((OOC: Since pinkgirl4real hasn't voted, and as there is currently a four-way tie, the Baron will cast the tie-breaking vote!))
Baron Munchausen nodded in turn as his newfound companions proclaimed the teller of their favorite story--based, no doubt, upon a combination of the grandeur and amazingness of the tale and the jovial influence of Lord Kennicot's superlative tokay. (The company discreetely passed over the Duchess Catherine Franstin-Margerit, who kept her vote to herself, having succumbed both to imagination and wine and--in a very demure and lady-like manner, of course--fallen asleep.)
"It seems," said the Baron, "that we have a tie." He tapped his finger to his chin, considering the problem. "Considering the nobility of you, whom I already, in this short time of our meeting, consider friends of the highest caliber, as well as the unsurpassed incredibility of your adventures--and their unquestionable veracity--our impasse is entirely understandable. I shall take it upon myself, then, to cast the decisive vote. I assume that my reputation as a teller of tales and a nobleman of honor are sufficient bonafides to take upon myself this momentous responsiblity?"
As none of the company raised any objection, the Baron stood. "First, I must raise my glass and toast each and every one of you." He did so, replenishing his glass. "Such companions can only have been equalled in history by the Argonauts of legend. Let us also toast our host, the Lord Kennicot, who provided us with this opportunity to meet, with such inestimable hospitality, and, not least of all, with this supply of wonderful tokay. May his marriage to the Lady Orquidea last until the end of days!"
"Hear, hear!" cried the company in unison.
"We must not forget the Royal Family--several of whom, if I am not mistaken, are present here upon this joyous occasion--and their unerring navigation of the ship of state, tilting the rudder towards the twin seas of universal wealth and purity of values."
"Hear, hear! To the Royal Family!" The clinking of glasses echoed across the green.
"Of course, I am required not only by custom, but indeed by the judgment of my eyes and the strings of my heart, to praise the great and unqualified beauty of the bride, Beatriz Flávia Rosana Gabriela Violeta da Orquídea, the Lady Kennicot. Even Helen of Troy would envy the luster of her skin, the deep and limpid blue pools of her eyes, her graceful manner and her lovely air. To the Lady Kennicot!"
"To the Lady Kennicot!" If Lord Hogarth toasted the Lady with somewhat more enthusiasm than the rest of the company, it was overlooked.
"And, finally," said the Baron with a solemn demeanor, "I feel I must make one last toast, one that I am sure you will all agree cannot be overlooked. Let us raise our glasses and wet our lips in praise of the Lord Neptune, the Olympian monarch of the seas, without whom my own majestic, incredible, stirring, amusing, dramatic and in every possible way true beyond question story could not have taken place, let alone be related to you, to the pleasure and edification of all."
"To Lord Neptune!" This toast left everyone's glass dry, and as the final bottle of tokay was passed around, by providence or by chance there was just enough to fill each glass once more, for the Baron's final verdict.
"To point out the multifarious points of interest of each tale would, while not beyond my mental means, would tax my vocal chords beyond the point which this small amount of wine could inure. Thus, without ceremony or further ado, let me cast my vote for the story of the Apes of Gibraltar, told by the Duchess Miranda Cottington. May her adventures flourish, and may we all have the opportunity in the future to be regaled by stories of her deeds of renown!"
The Baron bowed deeply in the direction of the Duchess, and drained his glass to the last drop. He took her gloved hand and placed his lips upon it. The rest of the companions with much clamor applauded the Duchess, who blushed rose-pink and hid her face with her fan, but could not conceal her glee.
Upon rising again, the Baron tapped his finger upon the shoulder of a passing servant. "You dunderhead! Why haven't the cucumber sandwiches made their way to the gazebo here?"
((Congratulations FurryPanda! It was a hard choice, as everyone's story was so good and so much fun!))
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