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Test Subject
Original Poster
#1 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:31 AM
Default Using "Gay" as a Derogatory Term: Offensive?
Every day in school, I hear students talking about things in a negative way by saying:

"That movie was so gay."
"Don't be a faggot."
"You're such a fag, ____."
"No! That's gay!"
"You're gay!"

I always hear guys poking fun at each other by saying things like "you're gay" or "don't be gay".

Here's what I want to know:

Regardless of your sexual orientation (you may state it if you want), do you find this offensive?

How MUCH does it bother you? Just a little? More than an f-bomb? Worthy of taking action against it?

Do you think using "gay" as a derogatory term is akin to saying someone is "lame" or "dumb", both of which were medical conditions?

---

Regardless of your sexual orientation (you may state it if you want), do you find this offensive?

I'm straight, but it definitely bothers me. I think it's very homophobic as well as immature; even if it's not a direct anti-gay statement. I get a little annoyed when people shout f-bombs across the room, but at least they're not ousting an entire group of people.

How MUCH does it bother you? Just a little? More than an f-bomb? Worthy of taking action against it?

If any action really could be put against it, I would, but I doubt anything can be done about it. Teachers try to cut down on student swearing and nothing really happens. I suppose it's the same with this.

Do you think using "gay" as a derogatory term is akin to saying someone is "lame" or "dumb", both of which were/are meant as medical conditions?

I don't think it's the same as saying someone is "lame" or "dumb" because those terms aren't commonly used as medical conditions anymore. On the other hand, our society is still homophobic (though not as much as it has been). "Lame" and "dumb" are now associated with "stupid", and rarely "crippled" or "mute". Gay, however, still has a homosexual context. When I hear the word "gay", I hear "homosexual", not "stupid".
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Field Researcher
#2 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:38 AM
i find that so offensive! the only time i use that word is when i'm talking bout actual homosexual friends. i mean come on gay=stupid????? jeez.
Scholar
#3 Old 28th May 2008 at 12:05 PM
Being literally minded, I often point out to friends that an object can't really be gay, seeing as an object doesn't have a sexuality.

Although...technically they could be, as in 'gay rights' or 'gay theatre' but that is a different meaning again.

I also like to point out also that dumb people are just unable to talk, not mentally impaired in any way. Likewise, lame people are just crippled, and may still be very capable to act in a cool manner. Oh, and cool people are just slightly lower in temperature than everyone else, and may not necessarily be any more fun to be around.

But, I guess that terms change over time, so can mean different things and still not be bad. I guess it depends if it hurts people's feelings.
Field Researcher
#4 Old 28th May 2008 at 12:07 PM
yeah exactly what i mean using it as something that makes sence ok for me but for talking about a gay movie is just offensive in my eyes (i'm not gay btw)
Instructor
#5 Old 28th May 2008 at 12:36 PM
I really hate it when people use 'gay' out of context. Like yes, when they call something that doesn't have a sexual orientation gay. I'm straight but I have a homosexual brother and this really really offends me when people use it. Sometimes to the point that I'll go to humiliating someone in front of our whole class to get back at them. Yes immature but hey, I always get my own back

Remember children: GAY IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR SHITTY.

Cass, 22, Australia
My Simblr
Field Researcher
#6 Old 28th May 2008 at 1:34 PM
I am primarily bothered by it in use around things which already offend or otherwise bother me. Of course, I rarely hear it from people who matter at all, for two possible reasons: I have this habit of reciting the dictionary entry for badly misused words like that, or they're sick of my "Oi, you saying I'm somehow connected to that?" style objections.

Yeah, snark-tastic lesbian here.

The dictionary entry thing... my dad always did that to us, we had to use words correctly. I still sometimes get confused when somebody says something is dumb, I'm just programmed to the older definition.


Footnote: Although 'gay' usually doesn't bother me, and I connect 'faggot' more with firewood, 'fag' will set me off every time... I'm very allergic to tobacco smoke.

"Segregate the sinful sexes..." "Wait, how many sexes are there?" "Two." "It's not enough I say, go out and order some more."
Scholar
#7 Old 28th May 2008 at 1:44 PM
Gay=Happy
Homosexual=Person who like to bang the same-sex
Lab Assistant
#8 Old 28th May 2008 at 3:09 PM
I am not offended by it. It is something I have seen a lot of. Different use of words or phrases and I wonder whether it is a phenomenon of the net.

There is already a netspeak of using symbols and numbers to replace letters.

This seems to be variation that. Attaching new meanings to existing words, inventing new phrases or words.

Some examples are,

"Who's the daddy" or "I am the Daddy".
Owned.
Pwned (?), is this suppose to be Pawned(?)
Noob.
Frak.

Is this similar to other method of identifying or attaching yourself to a particular group, such as clothing? Is this a form tribal behavior, not different to wearing face paint.

Since the net allows the user to be anonymous, the language used is only visible form of the user.
Lab Assistant
#9 Old 28th May 2008 at 3:26 PM
All I can say is that I'm gay and it doesn't bother me at all.
Scholar
#10 Old 28th May 2008 at 3:29 PM
The use of "gay" as a derogative term is hilariously common here in the South--to the point where people actually use it to refer not only to people, but to inanimate objects or concepts they don't like. For example:

"Looks like those shoes don't fit it."

"Yeah, they're being pretty gay."

It might just be the consequence of learning English later in life, but I'm amazed how people can say this with a straight face.

My typical response is, "How exactly are your shoes homosexual again?", but that's just highlighting the point: over here, it's generally considered culturally acceptable. So is, to a lesser extent, the use of the term "fag", though at least that's been limited to people and not inanimate objects.

"We're on sob day two of Operation Weeping-Bald-Eagle-Liberty-Never-Forget-Freedom-Watch sniff no word yet sob on our missing patriot Glenn Beck sob as alleged-President Hussein Obama shows his explicit support sniff for his fellow communists by ruling out the nuclear option."
Top Secret Researcher
#11 Old 28th May 2008 at 4:07 PM
Using the term 'Gay' as a derogatory word makes me want to strangle/maim/shout at the idiot saying it. During high school, I was still a in-the-closet bisexual so every time I hear a close friend say stuff like 'Oh, that lesson was so gay' or 'Her clothes are so gay' just made me want to punch her and fuelled my inability to come out of the closet. The worse part is that when I calmly explained to her that her habit annoyed me, she just stood there not understanding what she had done that annoyed me.

I'd much rather hear 'Fuck' or 'Shit' than have to deal with someone's ignorance and homophobia.

Fag, I don't mind, but that's because over here it just means a cigarette. My uncle bursts up laughing whenever he remembers the faces of his American co-workers when he first starting working on a US Army base when he said that he's 'just going outside for a fag.'

I would like to clear up the little matter of my sanity as it has come into question. I am not in any way, shape, or form, sane. Insane? Hell yes!

People keep calling me 'evil.' I must be doing something right.

SilentPsycho - The Official MTS2 Psycho
Alchemist
#12 Old 28th May 2008 at 4:23 PM
I think it depends how it's being used, and who's using it. Generally I find it irritating, rather than offensive.
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retired moderator
#13 Old 28th May 2008 at 5:55 PM
It still seems strange to me that 'gay' is used to describe homosexuality. In my day the only gay things were brightly coloured ribbons and balloons. Homosexual was the word to describe homosexuality.
Top Secret Researcher
#14 Old 28th May 2008 at 6:05 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Black_Barook!
Gay=Happy


I doubt that anybody nowadays uses the word gay to describe that they are happy, that meaning has become absolute since the sixties (a famous British song from the sixties called no milk today uses it describing the company as gay in the sense of happy and some old jazz standards and pop standards from the 30's and 40's use it meaning happy but nowadays it's just confusing).

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gay

I'd prefer the term gay over queer seeing that word has an overall negative connotation

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/queer

On topic I don't care if people use at as a negative, mostly it shows their own ignorance.

Lab Assistant
#15 Old 28th May 2008 at 9:40 PM
no, i don't find it offensive at all, and i even use it myself from time to time, along with the unapologetically non-pc "retarded", around certain company.

pa fights the bear.
Field Researcher
#16 Old 28th May 2008 at 10:42 PM
Yes. Using gay that way IS offensive!
What about "that movie is so straight?". It's like people think it is bad to be gay since gay is used as an offense!
#17 Old 28th May 2008 at 10:52 PM
Wow...I'm kinda guilty of this...>> it doesn't bother me though, since it's just a word...and I know words can hurt, believe me, I've had my feelings crushed thousands of times, but in the end. It's just a word. Just because you feel all offended by it isn't going to magically erase the word from the dictionary. I honestly think society today needs to lighten up. If you're gonna spend your whole life getting all "offended" just because some kid on the street said "That movie was so gay!"...well, there are much better things that energy could be used for. This is America, we're supposed to have freedom of speech. That should include us being able to say WHATEVER WHEREEVER without being fired/persecuted for it. We shoudln't be cowering in fear because the next word out of our mouths might "offend" someone. And, quite honestly, when I call things "gay", I'm just fooling around. If I really wanted to insult/offend someone, I'd just walk right up to their face and commence with the verbal taunting.
Top Secret Researcher
#18 Old 28th May 2008 at 10:57 PM
Well I routinely use gay to mean happy... and people call me gay, in both regards. I am straight. I don't see what he big deal is. Someone saying the f word every three words irks me more than someone who uses gay as a swear. Actually jsut any swearign that isnt done elegantly annoys me more than naything non-PC.

The humor of a story on the internet is in direct inverse proportion to how accurate the reporting is.
Field Researcher
#19 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:15 PM
Quote: Originally posted by SakuraKonekoChan
Wow...I'm kinda guilty of this...>> it doesn't bother me though, since it's just a word...and I know words can hurt, believe me, I've had my feelings crushed thousands of times, but in the end. It's just a word. Just because you feel all offended by it isn't going to magically erase the word from the dictionary. I honestly think society today needs to lighten up. If you're gonna spend your whole life getting all "offended" just because some kid on the street said "That movie was so gay!"...well, there are much better things that energy could be used for. This is America, we're supposed to have freedom of speech. That should include us being able to say WHATEVER WHEREEVER without being fired/persecuted for it. We shoudln't be cowering in fear because the next word out of our mouths might "offend" someone. And, quite honestly, when I call things "gay", I'm just fooling around. If I really wanted to insult/offend someone, I'd just walk right up to their face and commence with the verbal taunting.


when you are saying "this is America and WE're supposed to......", do you realize that I am not from America and not all forum members are?
But this debate is not about that. I am all for freedom of speech as long as you don't offend anyone but I would say that people who use the word "gay" as a synonym for bad aren't much creative when there are SO MANY words out there already to describe that movie:

People could choose between:

bad
awful
terrible
sucking
silly
stupid
overrated
lame
ick

etc. There are so many words to use. Why use "gay"? What's so fascinating about using the word of a sexual orientation (a word that originally meant "happy") to describe something you don't like? Should people use the word "straight" to describe what they like? Like "The movie was so straight", "the pizza was straight", "Thank you very much. You're so straight". I think not.
I'm not for abandoning freedom of speech. I just think it's unnecessary and insulting to use words that have to do with race and/or sexuality. What if your child came and told you he/she was gay? I think it would maybe be much easier for him/her to come out if you didn't use these words at home.
Top Secret Researcher
#20 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:39 PM
Quote: Originally posted by The_Oceanborn
I am all for freedom of speech as long as you don't offend anyone


That's not freedom of speech at all. Some people in minority religions are offended by merry christmas, so since people get offended no one should say merry christmas? No. Some people get offended when people bash thier political candidate of choice, so should elections be done at random with no debate? No. Jsut because soemthing can offend someone is no reason not to say it.

The humor of a story on the internet is in direct inverse proportion to how accurate the reporting is.
Field Researcher
#21 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:41 PM
Quote: Originally posted by simsample
It still seems strange to me that 'gay' is used to describe homosexuality. In my day the only gay things were brightly coloured ribbons and balloons. Homosexual was the word to describe homosexuality.


I know exactly what you mean. I've heard "gay" in the homosexual context since I was a child in the 80's but even so it still strikes me odd sometimes we use the word that way. I'm thinking becoming aware of the homosexual context while I was still watching the Flintstones on a regular basis kept me from ever fully skewed away from the old meaning to the more modern one. Forget whether "gay = lame" is a bad thing. I wish we could still have a "gay old time" a la The Flintstones and the phrase not raise eyebrows.

But to answer the question about "gay = lame" that rankles me to no end. The notion you're going to broad brush a whole group of people as being stupid just because they don't do what you do in the bedroom? Who really cares? It's not like they're going to force their preference on you. To the contrary, in my experience they just want to be left to do their thing in peace.

And then there's the whole thing of "Why should have I to try and reconstruct my notion of the word yet AGAIN just to accommodate your desire to jab at homosexuals?" Sorry. Not happening. While I don't correct this quite as much as "could care less", this "gay = lame" thing is not only a good way to offend me but also a pretty solid tactic for sending me into grammer geek mode. This new derogatory meaning just isn't happening in this boy's world. Plain and simple.
Test Subject
#22 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:43 PM
the meaning of gay changes all the time.
first it meant happy, then it meant homosexual, now it's used for all sorts of things.
it changes over time, but that still doesn't make it right.
Top Secret Researcher
#23 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:51 PM
Quote: Originally posted by FurryPanda
Jsut because soemthing can offend someone is no reason not to say it.
I disagree. That something can be offensive may not be a reason, say, to impose a government ban on saying it (and therefore violate free speech) but it's a perfectly good reason to decide, personally, not to say it.

For example, I live in South Carolina, which for the most part (anywhere from 99.7 - 99.9% ) is very religious. Coming from a different state, I tend to use the expression "oh my god," which is not offensive to me, but I refrain from saying it in public here because I know that, most likely, it will offend a churchgoer around me. That doesn't make you a bad person for saying it and offending someone if upsetting them isn't your objective, but it's not wrong or unnecessary to try not to offend people.

So, with the word "gay"... I don't think that it's a huge deal if it's used to mean "lame" or whatever, since it's generally not meant as an insult to homosexuals. However, I don't it should be used that way, for all the reasons everyone has stated.

Scholar
#24 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:54 PM
Quote: Originally posted by kinneer
Owned.
Pwned (?), is this suppose to be Pawned(?)

Pwned is a variation of owned, because it is a common spelling mistake (the p is next to the o on most keyboards). But now I think pwnage means much more ownage than ownage, because you must have been too excited about it to check the spelling, so it must have been better.

Anyway, back on topic
Mad Poster
#25 Old 28th May 2008 at 11:55 PM
What really gets me is incorrect and offensive usage of the word "retarded," but gay isn't okay, either. I agree with cassieandra and Fall Out Boy (yes, I picked up on the reference )- gay is not a synonym for shitty.

Do I dare disturb the universe?
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