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Lab Assistant
Original Poster
#1 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 5:59 PM
Default Seriously, why is almost everyone under the age of 19 using slurs against minorities as a joke?
I'm going to mention that I'm 17, so this is a criticism of my own age group.

For some reason, in the past year or so the amount of slurs used by kids my own age in casual conversation has soared. It's not even by conservative kids: I know "liberal" kids who are doing this, so I guess it's not political. It's mainly white kids though, so that's probably why. The slurs are mainly homophobic or racist, with sexist slurs still being used, yet not nearly as often. This isn't just with kids they know, just yesterday my sister of all people greeted a kid she didn't know yet by repeatedly calling him a f-g and a f-----t.

I'm really not sure why it is even going on. People who do this cite "freedom of speech" as a reason this is "okay" but still, I don't think this is okay at all. I'm gay and also transgender and I'm really not okay with my supposed "allies" using any of this as a joke. At the same time, even though I'm not a racial minority, I'm still not okay with the racial slurs being casually thrown around. Or any slurs. Why does this even have to be a thing?

I guess you could say it's just because they're young, but some of the people doing this are above the age of 16. Honestly, they should have learned this by now. It seemed like they did, at first and now they suddenly don't. Like some floodgate opened up and now there are slurs literally everywhere.
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Instructor
#2 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 6:34 PM
As far as I am concerned it's not a matter of age, but a matter of environment. Some folks realize that using slurs is wrong at a very young age, but (as far as the school system in my country is concerned) the others are idly wrapped in a cocoon of paternal indulgence and boredom from elementary school to the end of high school. It's when high school is over, thus when most of them are forced to get a job or go to college, that they get a true grip on the world and its inhabitants. Even myself, although I am gay so I've never really used any homophobic slurs, have said very unpleasant words not too many years ago, that I wholeheartedly regret because I know would hurt people I care about now.

I am not condoning the kids you mention, but the answer is simple: they just don't know better. Ignorance may not seem a satisfying excuse, but it's just what it is. I highly doubt that most kids who use fa***tt as a slur at your school actually have something against the LGBTQ community, they simply don't realize that they can hurt people through that word. You should keep that in mind: they are in a much more oblivious and therefore unfortunate situation than you.

Me, me, me against them, me against enemies, me against friends, somehow they all seem to become one, a sea full of sharks and they all smell blood.
Mad Poster
#3 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 6:45 PM Last edited by simmer22 : 7th Nov 2014 at 7:14 PM.
Swearing, and using discriminating or otherwise offending words has sadly become a part of the way people talk, perhaps particularly in the western world where we're getting bombarded with it every day. Those words used to be just for disriminating or offence, but once they've sneaked into the language as a 'norm' it seems they've come to stay.

If 'everyone' uses these words, then 'everyone' thinks using the words in everyday speech is fine, and this transfers over to kids and even to older generations that used to think the words shouldn't be a part of everyday language. They don't actually realise that the words are offending to certain groups, and that it's not okay to throw them around like they're an innocent part of the language.

We're bombarded with this way of speaking every single day, through music, TV, film, magazines, and whatnots. No wonder people are weaned to it after a while. I don't even manage to listen to most of the pop/rock music made after 2000-ish, because most of the texts are so braindead it hardly deserves to be called music.

Personally, I don't think it's okay to throw around such words. I can't say I never ever swear, but at least I do my best to stay away from any of the more offending words. Those I use are technically not really swearing as they are mostly harmless everyday words that can hardly offend anyone - at least not the way certain other words can offend. Sometimes I just kind of need some words when I'm angry or upset, and have chosen to use much milder expressions than a lot of other people. I don't swear in regular, peaceful conversations as if it's normal, either. I don't like it, and don't think it's funny. If someone can't carry a conversation without throwing in a bunch of swearing or offending words, it annoys me. Is the general language really so ruined people just have to throw in a couple of swear words into every single sentence?

And just as I'm wondering this, I see a text or a forum post where people can barely even spell their own names, let alone write a single sentence in their mother tongue without at least 3-4 mistakes, and realise that yes, it is. When people's vocabulary is slowly getting weaker and smaller, and swearing is apparently (for these people, anyway) a compensation for all the lost words.

I guess we just have to live with it, try to teach our own kids better manners, and hope it's just a phase that will fade away sometime into the future. Although, I think it's only getting worse. Swearing was mostly a bad thing when I grew up back in the 90s, but in the span of some 15-20 years it's suddenly 'okay' even on TV. It's kind of weird.
Top Secret Researcher
#4 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 8:02 PM
I agree with Gabrymato -- they are mainly going along with their crowd. And their crowd is limited, because they mainly interact with people within a couple of years of their own age. There are waaaaaay fewer people 17-19 than there are 17+!

As well, offending grownups is just sort of a thing with some teenagers. Maybe they think they're merely cussing and being edgy, rather than actually attacking actual people.

Another reason? Some people do and say immature things because they actually are immature. Five-year-olds say "I can do anything I want, it's a free country!". Assholes of all ages assert "rights" that go way past the tip of someone else's nose.

So in all, the word goes out that some offensive gross TV show is funny, and you start hearing actual people talking that way as if it actually were funny.

Quote: Originally posted by Gabry
It's when high school is over, thus when most of them are forced to get a job or go to college, that they get a true grip on the world and its inhabitants.


I have seen this happen! But in the meantime, the problem is that they're being unnecessarily nasty to each other, not merely according to some arbitrary social norm, but by actually hurting each others' feelings. Decent people ought to step in when that happens. The "free speech" argument never did exempt anyone from the free speech of people who say their offensive jokes aren't funny.
Alchemist
#5 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 11:08 PM
Teens/children have never been known for their sensitivity/tact/wisdom. This seems to be more of a matter of maturity. Maturity is not to be confused with age. It's rough being one of the few who mature faster than the rest (Though, believe me, there are plenty of "adults" who aren't mature at all), but it's much more commonplace for people to tend to experience maturity much later, generally sometime in their mid to late 20's. This isn't to say that mature adolescents don't exist, but they are the exception that proves the rule.
Additionally, children have a way of overusing anything in general. They have poor self-control and haven't yet had much experience with the rest of the world, so their views haven't had much chance to expand and re-proportion themselves. They haven't been given reason (As, 9 times out of 10, the only exposure to viewpoints other than their own is within their similarly-minded circle of friends or family) or opportunity to expound upon and/or question their one-dimensional views, question them, and/or throw out and replace old, immature viewpoints with more mature and wise viewpoints.
And of course, language is really just the way that you express your thoughts. When their thoughts change, their language will change.

TL;DR: Immaturity, that's why. Wait long enough and they'll (Hopefully) grow out of it.

"The more you know, the sadder you get."~ Stephen Colbert
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." ~ Jon Stewart
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Mad Poster
#6 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 11:40 PM
Actually, the problem isn't with the children. It's with the adults who either does it first or lets it happen.

If adults had accepted people for who they are, and if adults hadn't used offensive names and words for certain groups of people, then kids and teenagers wouldn't get the idea into their heads that thre was anything wrong with these groups of people, or that the offensive names are okay to use.

Adults are meant to teach kids self-control, and to teach the kids to be well-behaved human beings when they grow up. The problem nowadays is that a lot of adults are badly behaved, immature, and lack self-control, and unortunately a lot of these adults are found on TV or in other media, so that kids snap up the bad behavior from them. What's the most used babysitter nowadays, you might ask? The TV, of course. From what I've snapped up about today's kids' shows is that quite a lot of those that involve adults don't have those sensible, well-behaved, pedagogic adults from back when I was a kid, but instead very immature, even childish adults. Kids also don't just see kids' shows, but mroe adult programs. They snap up news, they snap up shows meant for teenagers and adults, and they listen to music not meant for young ears. Kids are wired to snap up everything around them. They're wired to learn from parents, peers, and their environment. It's a hard-wired survival mechanism. Fit into the environment, or you're on your own.

So don't blame the kids. They don't have a lot to do with it, other than being influenced by the wrong factors. They're just doing what they think is right. Instead, blame the adults, and blame all the bad environmental influences that makes kids think all of this is right. If you're lucky, some of these kids will grow up and realize they've been going about it the wrong way. Unfortunately, most of them won't care much, and will carry on the same way.

If the adults get some sense into their brains, their kids will follow in their footsteps. Most of the way, anyway. Kids need a solid foundation with good values so they'll grow up into their teens with at least some sense between their ears.
Née whiterider
retired moderator
#7 Old 7th Nov 2014 at 11:47 PM
I think part of it is that school puts teenagers in a weirdly artificial social situation, where their circle of contacts is relatively homogeneous and doesn't change significantly, for many years. So it becomes easy for really weird social norms to go pretty much unchallenged, especially as the few people - mostly adults - who might challenge them are already considered to be Other and not really having enough understanding of the social group to be able to have a reasonable opinion on it. Once you leave school, you end up in a much more varied group, which forces you to be more considerate, and also in a situation where there will almost certainly be at least a few people who have seem it all before and are secure enough to call behaviours out without worrying about their own position in the group.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.
Scholar
#8 Old 8th Nov 2014 at 12:22 AM
I am a gay woman. I am not a teenager. I like to call my friends faggots. :lovestruc:

Honestly what pisses me off the most is when straight (in my case) people think they have the right to be offended on my behalf. Just piss off, will ya. Honestly I don't care about kids calling other For gods sake, people are still getting killed because of their particular sexuality. Slurs, at the end of the day, can only hurt my feelings. Unlike those who actually want to kill me for my sexuality.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I get the war you're trying to fight, I just think it's a little out of proportion.

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT" Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
Falco - The original Prombat
Banned
#9 Old 8th Nov 2014 at 10:19 AM Last edited by Aaron4Ever : 8th Nov 2014 at 10:19 PM.
I HATE it when people slur insults or make fun of Ebola. This even is circulating around the adult world. I take a keen interest into watching the news, and to make fun of a disease that thousands of people have died of? I would knock them unconscious, but I would get expelled.

When people swear, I hate it. It pains me less, but it still annoys me.

The ISIL? Haven't heard many insults, but some people in my school don't like them, thankfully. If there was a person wearing a burqua in our school, oh boy, they would probably be beaten to near-death by people who hate the ISIL. Thank you, 'Allah', look at all the racism you started.

WHO THE FUNKADELIC DISAGREED.
Spice Pony
#10 Old 8th Nov 2014 at 6:42 PM
Quote: Originally posted by TotallyJW
I am a gay woman. I am not a teenager. I like to call my friends faggots. :lovestruc:

Honestly what pisses me off the most is when straight (in my case) people think they have the right to be offended on my behalf. Just piss off, will ya. Honestly I don't care about kids calling other For gods sake, people are still getting killed because of their particular sexuality. Slurs, at the end of the day, can only hurt my feelings. Unlike those who actually want to kill me for my sexuality.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I get the war you're trying to fight, I just think it's a little out of proportion.


I can see that. I have OCD, and I get really offended when people try to say it's offensive for people to joke about. Honestly, I think it's a spectrum that most people are on anyway, so there's the fact that some of these people might be semi-serious about what they're saying, and then even if they aren't, there's the fact that it's a legitimately ridiculous disease, and it deserves to be laughed about. I mean, seriously, it really makes my life difficult and frustrating, but even I know it's ridiculous when I have to touch a certain spot on the wall every time I walk through a doorway. Being able to laugh at yourself is healthy. And people should be able to share that laughter; the problem is simply knowing what's appropriate and what's tasteless.
Scholar
#11 Old 10th Nov 2014 at 3:44 AM
Quote: Originally posted by TotallyJW
I am a gay woman. I am not a teenager. I like to call my friends faggots. :lovestruc:

Honestly what pisses me off the most is when straight (in my case) people think they have the right to be offended on my behalf. Just piss off, will ya. Honestly I don't care about kids calling other For gods sake, people are still getting killed because of their particular sexuality. Slurs, at the end of the day, can only hurt my feelings. Unlike those who actually want to kill me for my sexuality.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I get the war you're trying to fight, I just think it's a little out of proportion.


I get this. See, I feel like if you're part of that community you can say what you want. I, as a white and mostly straight woman, would feel wildly uncomfortable EVER saying anything like 'nigga' or 'faggot.' Even typing them is freaking me out! Basically I would never use any sort of slur for other races or LGBTQ people.

I think a lot of young people don't know the history or why it is so offensive. I didn't know the n-word was a swear until I was in high school I believe; I just thought it was "something people said a long time ago." I didn't know what f---t even meant until I was well into high school either, and didn't know that tranny was a slur until I was at least eighteen. I didn't use these words, mind you--I didn't cuss and I knew they were bad--but if I had cussed I might've used them because I didn't know why they were bad. So I think it really is ignorance.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
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Theorist
#12 Old 10th Nov 2014 at 11:34 AM Last edited by Mistermook : 10th Nov 2014 at 1:22 PM.
Hell, I've had so many gay friends, spent so many late nights in my past sitting on the sidewalk drinking booze and smoking cigarettes with crossdressers, that I still can't help but call people words that can be taken offensive that I learned the habit of from those words being bandied about recklessly, leading people to somehow assume that I'm somehow homophobic or opposed to the lifestyle. And that, weirdly, is probably the best reason why you shouldn't use the sort of language you're going to regard offensive externally internally. If the lexicon of your group is somehow abusive when externalized, then it needs to be reconsidered. Either you're allowing more power to words than they obviously hold to you depending on who says them, which implies that the word isn't what's empowered but these people you're empowering to hurt you; or else it's probably an indication of self-loathing and depreciation. You can be wounded by words or you can own them, I don't really think there's a good middle ground. If "it's complicated" and they're your words then you need to uncomplicate things and figure them out.
Lab Assistant
#13 Old 29th Nov 2014 at 12:02 PM
As a teen, I can say it's to try and fit in or sound cool. If you don't swear, you're a goody two shoes, and if you swear often, you're a badass, or at least that's what society tells me. With the discriminatory jokes, it's honestly because I don't think some people understand the gravity if the situation/subject or to sound edgy. Oh, they made an Asian joke! Hilarious, it was slightly offensive, to! Bonus points from society.
Fat Obstreperous Jerk
#14 Old 30th Nov 2014 at 1:02 PM
You should be happy that they're using it as a joke. When a notion is being used as a joke, it means it's not being taken seriously. Consider it progress when an entire generation considers minority differences to be a subject of humor rather than grounds for a lynching. Would you rather they be saying these things seriously with the expectation of being taken seriously for saying those things? That you can say such things as a joke with a reasonable expectation of it being taken as a joke is progress.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.
Theorist
#15 Old 30th Nov 2014 at 7:25 PM
Or you can accept that actually racists and jerks of all other flavors use "it was a joke" as cover for being dicks all the time. When you're the one being the dick you don't have to take something seriously, and part of the issue of racism in the first place is the minimization and marginalization of racial issues.
Fat Obstreperous Jerk
#16 Old 1st Dec 2014 at 1:35 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Mistermook
Or you can accept that actually racists and jerks of all other flavors use "it was a joke" as cover for being dicks all the time. When you're the one being the dick you don't have to take something seriously, and part of the issue of racism in the first place is the minimization and marginalization of racial issues.

But the fact that they have to use a cover is already an indicator that it's not acceptable to simply BE so, and they know it. You're probably not old enough to remember a time when people said these such things without the intent of being joking at all, when such things were expressed openly and unironically.

The fact of the matter is, people will always be different, and those differences can either be things that are deemed worthy of lynching someone for, or simply something we can laugh at. Which would you rather have it be? Because unless you start poking out everyone's eyes, people are different and we all know it.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.
Theorist
#17 Old 1st Dec 2014 at 2:28 AM Last edited by Mistermook : 1st Dec 2014 at 4:58 AM.
Quote: Originally posted by J. M. Pescado
But the fact that they have to use a cover is already an indicator that it's not acceptable to simply BE so, and they know it. You're probably not old enough to remember a time when people said these such things without the intent of being joking at all, when such things were expressed openly and unironically.

I'm 42. I'm old enough to remember still seeing segregated water fountains that hadn't been removed yet when I was a kid and I promise you that growing up at least part of the time in the racially charged Southeast US there's plenty of people out there to this day that are so clearly not fucking joking about anything shitty that they happen to say.

The fact of the matter is that people are different, but "races"? Not really. Culturally you've got some differences, but that just makes the insistence on race as the issue even more stupid. There's plenty of reasons to hate people as individuals instead of stereotypes, and plenty of abusive language to use to hate on them with. That's the other problem with racist language, it's lazy. I've had assholes crapping out hateful bullshit in front of me and in front of my daughter, with only the excuse "well she doesn't look Asian..." Does that make it alright? If it's a "joke" is it okay for people to say fucked up things to children, or around children, or to other adults who are presumably supposed to act like adults? No, absolutely not.

The bottom line is that "it's a joke" provides a cover for people who absolutely aren't joking, and if you don't think there are plenty of those assholes out there still you're kidding yourself. Furthermore, it's not a joke if the person you're abusing isn't laughing about it. You can call it a joke all you like, but if I were to say, "Pescado, you're a stupid piece of shit who can't find his own ears because his ass cheeks are squeezing them too tight," it's really not all that funny at some point. At some point it's abusive and it's not up to me to say when it's abusive, it's you. I think Michael Richards demonstrated that clearly:

Instructor
#18 Old 1st Dec 2014 at 4:58 PM
I just wanted to share a thought.

It's okay for a group of people who share a disorder or a group as a race to laugh at themselves between one another.
People may think, "Hey, they are laughing, so we can laugh too!" When that's not really okay is it?

I've know my friend with real OCD laughs at herself and make jokes and then there are those people who say "OMG my OCD is acting up" all the time making her uncomfortable when she hears it and I know better to say those kind of jokes period, even if she does I have no right to.

In the case of the N word, the black people who choose to throw it around casually in everyday conversations especially those who associate themselves with other races kind of make teach their friends/etc. that its okay also for them to say it. Nobody should be using that word not even black people honestly.

Tyrone= "Ay what's up my N.?"
Dayvon= "Nothing N just chilling."
Bob= "Hey Tyrone, Dayvon, what's good my N's?"
Jose= "Who Tyrone, Dayvon and Bob? Ha yeah those are my boys, my N's"

Tyrone and Dayvon may not mind Bob and Jose saying that around them, but they use it so often they do not care if they do. But if Bob and Jose were using the N word outside of their buddies other could not be so accepting. Then what would they say? "Im not racist! I have black friends! They say it all the time they even called me a N before! So I thought it was okay!!!!'

Peace, Harmony & Balance... Libra is Love..
Scholar
#19 Old 8th Dec 2014 at 8:46 PM
The last public school I went to was made up of mostly black students, so most of my friends were black. We had a lot of stupid jokes going on between ourselves involving racial slurs. I think it was our way of bringing those words down in order to make them less offensive, if that makes any sense (probably not.)

One of the jokes was, every so often when we saw each other in the halls first thing in the morning, one of my black friends shouted to me "WHAT'S UP MAH CRACKA/HONKY?" then hug me and I'd shout "NOT MUCH. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU MY N----?" A few students who weren't in the know thought it was terrible but everyone pretty much understood what was going on.

Is that terrible? Yes, to some extent. There was a certain context to it and nobody involved with the jokes ever felt offended because they had no reason to. My friend's didn't think of me any less for being white and I never thought any less of them for being black.

What's really terrible is how my dad used to just flat out call every black person he saw a "dumb N" and then laugh like he just cracked the best joke ever told. I still don't know how people can so freely use terms like N or F as everyday slang.

The secret ingredient is phone.
Growing up means watching my heroes turn human in front of me.
Thank you, O Mighty Doom Deity! - BL00DIEHELL
Lab Assistant
#20 Old 9th Dec 2014 at 4:00 AM
Quote: Originally posted by IAmDeath
The last public school I went to was made up of mostly black students, so most of my friends were black. We had a lot of stupid jokes going on between ourselves involving racial slurs. I think it was our way of bringing those words down in order to make them less offensive, if that makes any sense (probably not.)

One of the jokes was, every so often when we saw each other in the halls first thing in the morning, one of my black friends shouted to me "WHAT'S UP MAH CRACKA/HONKY?" then hug me and I'd shout "NOT MUCH. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU MY N----?" A few students who weren't in the know thought it was terrible but everyone pretty much understood what was going on.

Is that terrible? Yes, to some extent. There was a certain context to it and nobody involved with the jokes ever felt offended because they had no reason to. My friend's didn't think of me any less for being white and I never thought any less of them for being black.

What's really terrible is how my dad used to just flat out call every black person he saw a "dumb N" and then laugh like he just cracked the best joke ever told. I still don't know how people can so freely use terms like N or F as everyday slang.


I'm sorry, but what do you mean by 'F'? Do you mean the common 'f' word or something else? If it's the 'f' word, sorry, I'm used to hearing it and it is everyday slang at my school.
Scholar
#21 Old 10th Dec 2014 at 2:26 PM
Quote: Originally posted by quesadildos
I'm sorry, but what do you mean by 'F'? Do you mean the common 'f' word or something else? If it's the 'f' word, sorry, I'm used to hearing it and it is everyday slang at my school.


Fag, not fuck.

The secret ingredient is phone.
Growing up means watching my heroes turn human in front of me.
Thank you, O Mighty Doom Deity! - BL00DIEHELL
Lab Assistant
#22 Old 10th Dec 2014 at 5:37 PM
Quote: Originally posted by IAmDeath
Fag, not fuck.


Thanks for clearing that up, I didn't really get it at first. My parents and grandmother are british so a fag is a cigarette, but I guess in America it's more commonly used as a slur.
Test Subject
#23 Old 12th Dec 2014 at 5:11 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Aaron4Ever
I HATE it when people slur insults or make fun of Ebola. This even is circulating around the adult world. I take a keen interest into watching the news, and to make fun of a disease that thousands of people have died of? I would knock them unconscious, but I would get expelled.

When people swear, I hate it. It pains me less, but it still annoys me.

The ISIL? Haven't heard many insults, but some people in my school don't like them, thankfully. If there was a person wearing a burqua in our school, oh boy, they would probably be beaten to near-death by people who hate the ISIL. Thank you, 'Allah', look at all the racism you started.

WHO THE FUNKADELIC DISAGREED.


im not taking your post seriously....
 
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