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Instructor
#51 Old 12th Sep 2011 at 10:08 PM
There are studies which show that human beings prefer certain types of faces, such as facial symmetry,youthfulness, skin clarity and vivid color in eyes.

Valueing lighter skin, seems to be a common gauge of attractiveness even those without contact with Europeans, although it isn't totally universal. One anthropologist suggest this is because higher ranking men tended to marry the perceived most beautiful women in their society, and they tended to select lighter skinned women, that upper classes of society tended to have fairer skin by sexual selection.
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Forum Resident
#52 Old 13th Sep 2011 at 1:42 AM
Quote: Originally posted by SimsLover50
Valueing lighter skin, seems to be a common gauge of attractiveness even those without contact with Europeans, although it isn't totally universal. One anthropologist suggest this is because higher ranking men tended to marry the perceived most beautiful women in their society, and they tended to select lighter skinned women, that upper classes of society tended to have fairer skin by sexual selection.

I've heard some hypothesizing that people take it as a sign of untrustworthiness when looking at (very) dark-skinned people because it's harder to make out their expressions. Even all-black cats and dogs are slower to be adopted from shelters.
Field Researcher
#53 Old 19th Oct 2011 at 9:21 PM
some people seem to think so. I have been called racist before online when I said that I do not find people outside my race attractive.

like someone else on this thread, appearance plays a role in attraction. it may be a small role but it is a role nonetheless.
I don't see how it would be shallow or superficial to be this way because it's not like we don't want to interact with them because of physical features, it's just that we don't want those features in a mate
also it is not the only basis for attraction. every aspect of the person plays a part in what is found attractive. now I know I definitely can't be shallow because I tend to see a person's personality right through to their physical appearance (physical features can help but a person with a good personality is no less than average looking for me)

I do not see how it would be racist because it's not like I would avoid them completely and I can pinpoint a plausible reason why they are not attractive (this is not to say if you cannot explain your attraction you are racist but it's easier to say one is not racist if you know some of their reasoning)
I for example do not find African Americans attractive because of their lips. I have noticed on all of the ones I have seen have too big of lips for my liking. also their hair...hair is one of the top important physical features for me. usually they have little hair or no, and if they don't it's cornrows or something like that.

most importantly if people are racist for having an attraction to only certain races, then you might as well call people sexist for being gay or straight.

now of course I said that appearance plays a small role. well for me, people outside my race are not attractive to me for more than just appearance.
like for example every African American I remember encountering (I am not exaggerating either) just doesn't have that good balance of gentleness that I find attractive. there was only one that was gentle and I think the problem was he was too gentle.
although people of all races can have a pleasant personality, it is not pleasant in the way that is sexually attractive to me. it's not always explainable why it is not pleasant in an attractive sense but I am very aware of my feelings.
I know I should never say never but since every person of another race has not been attractive to me so far (which is a lot of people) it is at least safe to say that there is only about a 1 percent chance that I will date someone outside my race.
Mad Poster
#54 Old 20th Oct 2011 at 12:35 AM
I think some natural impulses compel people to seek mates - and that's what were thinking about subconsciously when we "date" - that have qualities that are either the same as qualities they possess or are compatible to them. For some people, they may see someone of their race and see those as the qualities that are the same. For others, they may not notice race, but might notice something else such as a preference for art, eye shape, or a quietness of voice. Of course, I am just speculating based on what I've observed about myself and others. I find it fascinating to consider what it is that motivates us.

Addicted to The Sims since 2000.
Top Secret Researcher
#55 Old 20th Oct 2011 at 3:36 AM
Well I think personally, it all depends on the tone of their voice when they say it, if they, like you know, say it calmly, its more of a preference, but with a bit of a sharper tone and attitude, it could be considered racism, also it has to be in some sort of context, so technically it could be both. All that matters is just the tone and context of the words themselves.

Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather.

GTA V
dodgy builder
#56 Old 20th Oct 2011 at 1:08 PM
well ... what about a statement like

"I usually only dates people like me, but because I don't wanna be a racist, I sometimes dates just for a day, the other kind".
Field Researcher
#57 Old 20th Oct 2011 at 1:13 PM
To be honest I haven't really read any of the posts...
I don't think its racist. To me its just like preferences on rather you like tall or short, thin or fat. Its only racist if you start to judge other people who date other races. I don't know like cuss them out or do something to them... then it becomes racist..
Instructor
#58 Old 20th Oct 2011 at 5:17 PM
It is prejudiced to decide before you meet someone whether you will find them appealing. Prejudice can be both favorable or not favorable. If after you meet someone- and you decide heck, his skin is too freckly/spotty/light/dark and you aren't attracted then to me that is different but if you decide beforehand that you never date member of x race because of an attribute then you are pre judging the situation.

There is a difference between prejudice and racism.

Now if you'll never date someone with dark skin because they are Black and you don't like blacks then you are probably a racist.
Test Subject
#59 Old 20th Oct 2011 at 5:47 PM
I have honestly wondered this question a lot as I was growing up. I had multiple black guys ask me out in grade school, and I never did date any of them. More so, I think it was the personality that drew me off to be honest. And none of them ever seemed serious. So I never took it serious.

Think my Junior year, a black guy in my class asked me "Would you ever date a black guy?" and I honestly didn't know what to say, considering I thought it over before, all I could say was "maybe." Which I guess is the honest truth.

I've had some guys give the comeback of "it's cause I'm black isn't it?" and I think the first time I heard that I was all "is it?" and deeply confused myself. But I don't think that is what I held against them.

Considering I dated asian guys, hispanic guys, indian, etc. And never held anything against them. For the way they looked. Just never black guys. ._.

Not saying I haven't met any awesome black guys, I have a lot of great friends that are, its just the type of person I am does not go well with the average black man.

and now I feel terrible. lol.
Top Secret Researcher
#60 Old 21st Oct 2011 at 2:05 AM
@Volvenom

Well, if you specifically date a different race not to be "racist" its still kind of setting a preference, and indirectly saying a somewhat racist comment. In my opinion, the only actual way to not be racist is if someone asks, just say " I don't really mind, as long as they and nice, sweet, or attractive, etc." because if you aren't racist if shouldn't actually matter at all.

Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather.

GTA V
Forum Resident
#61 Old 21st Oct 2011 at 1:30 PM Last edited by Weisskreuz : 21st Oct 2011 at 8:41 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by kristie91
To be honest I haven't really read any of the posts...
I don't think its racist. To me its just like preferences on rather you like tall or short, thin or fat. Its only racist if you start to judge other people who date other races. I don't know like cuss them out or do something to them... then it becomes racist..


Generally cursing someone out does not make you racist. Actually it never makes your racist, what are you talking about?

I don't think preference with in itself is "racist". I find exluding an entire "race" because you don't find ANY of them attractive is racist. You couldn't possibly have met every single member of a particular "race". How do you know you don't find any of them attractive? I think high-cheekbones are very sexy. I see them all the time on white/black men, mostly. But i'm not going to say I'll never date men of asian-descent because I haven't seen any with high-cheekbones.

Also, it's definitely totally racist when you put down some one for being a certain race or color in favor of another. Which usually happens immediately after someone expresses their "preference". For example...Isabela from Dragon Age 2. Liking a light-skinned, blonde-haired, Blue-eyed Isabela isn't BAD and while I am incredibly unhappy with the the mods (why is there more than one anyway?) that make her lighter, I deal with it because my Isabela will always be brown-haired, brown-eyed, and dark-skinned and the modder and every jacka** downloader that thought that making her lighter made her "better" can go f*** themselves. But referring to her original features and color, as "disgusting", "ugly", and "just too dark" and referring to her lighter self as "Improved"..Is so very racist I don't even know what to say to people that don't see that and say "IT'S JUST A PREFERENCE!!"
Test Subject
#62 Old 21st Oct 2011 at 1:57 PM
Quote: Originally posted by McChoclatey
I've heard so many people say, "I only date Black girls," or "I only date White girls." But would that be considered racist or a preference? Can skin color be a preference?


I agree with several other people here in that those statements would reflect a preference.

That preference, however, may mean that the person saying them is racist. (But from that statement alone, we do not have enough informatin to know.)

Personally, back when I was single, I didn't care about skin color one way or another for dating. if the person was nice and I thought they were pretty, that was all that mattered. I treated each contact with the question "if this person ended up being with me for life, how woudl I like to be with them" yard stick. A nice smile and good personality goes a lot longer than ANY surface looks.
Top Secret Researcher
#63 Old 22nd Oct 2011 at 4:29 AM
I competely agree with MaxQBaker up there ^
l

Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather.

GTA V
Scholar
#64 Old 22nd Oct 2011 at 8:15 AM Last edited by DrowningFishy : 22nd Oct 2011 at 8:28 AM.
"Everyones a little racist, sometimes. Doesn't mean we go around commiting hate crimes. Look around and you will find, no ones really color blind. Maybe it is a fact we all should face! Everyone makes judgements based on race." - Avenue Q ( Everyones A Little Bit Racist )

I admitt it is racist of me to decide whether or not to date one based on their race. But you know, I don't date other white people too because their looks. There is things I don't don't find attractive in people and you know some races, due to genetics, carry those traits. I will admitt I wouldn't date a mexican, middle eastern, or black just because I don't find them attractive to me. Also I wouldn't date a mexican because well, I live in Little Mexico, some of these men just-ug. Simply put one person can ruin it for the rest of them. But would I ever go up to someone and go "Your dating him he's (insert race or skin color here)"? hell no.

Being never racist is impossible. I was raised with the belief that the only way to never be racist is to hate everyone equally.

Disclaimer: I am just being a goof ball, please ignore me if offended.
Forum Resident
#65 Old 22nd Oct 2011 at 5:06 PM
Quote: Originally posted by DrowningFishy
"Everyones a little racist, sometimes. Doesn't mean we go around commiting hate crimes. Look around and you will find, no ones really color blind. Maybe it is a fact we all should face! Everyone makes judgements based on race." - Avenue Q ( Everyones A Little Bit Racist )

I admitt it is racist of me to decide whether or not to date one based on their race. But you know, I don't date other white people too because their looks. There is things I don't don't find attractive in people and you know some races, due to genetics, carry those traits. I will admitt I wouldn't date a mexican, middle eastern, or black just because I don't find them attractive to me. Also I wouldn't date a mexican because well, I live in Little Mexico, some of these men just-ug. Simply put one person can ruin it for the rest of them. But would I ever go up to someone and go "Your dating him he's (insert race or skin color here)"? hell no.

Being never racist is impossible. I was raised with the belief that the only way to never be racist is to hate everyone equally.



Gosh, it's like you know all of them!

Where are you getting that from, a song?
Lab Assistant
#66 Old 22nd Oct 2011 at 5:37 PM
it's not racist. its the same as only dating blondes or having a "type"
on that note, i've noticed a lot of people suggesting that going for people with certain characteristics is shallow or silly. well, nope, its biology. a lot of people tend to seperate humans from other animals, like having the ability to make stuff and wear clothes makes us different. We're still just animals, and we still have instincts. so when we "date" what we're actually doing is looking for a mate to have children with. Granted, some of us have better control over those instincts then others(people who don't have the urge to breed, etc.), and some have less (like violent people, for example) but at our core we are still animals who run on instinct. i personally like chubby hairy guys. biologically speaking, its probably because i expect them to be able to provide security and defend our nest, as it were.

Also, Racism is in built, but that doesn't mean we have no control over it. again, its an animal instinct. ourselves and our family or "tribe" look one way, so as a baby, we become alarmed when we see someone who varies greatly from the "pack" and as they reach school and nursery age and start to socialise with a wider group of children, most will form friendships with races similar to their own. Babies also have a problem sharing toys and are highly territorial, but again, this changes as they get older.

<- My Simself, Kelly Ovenden. Life Stage: YA Traits: Computer Whiz, Bookworm, Couch Potato, Grumpy, Nurturing
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Scholar
#67 Old 22nd Oct 2011 at 10:53 PM
I don't believe it's racist, I mean, if you refused to talk or even befriend people from one certain race, then that's somewhat racist. But when it's your future partner, sexual attraction does matter. You can not be attracted to friends because of their race but still be friends. When it's a relationship, you have to want to jump in bed with them. I mean, personality and that matters too, but I know for myself I'll never date anybody who is Asian. I could date somebody with a more Columbian look, but I literally can't be attracted to an Asian guy. It doesn't mean I hate them, I personally would adopt a Japanese girl if I ever adopted, but you won't see me in bed with one.
I don't think it makes me a bad person or racist, just somebody who knows what they like and don't like. Just like I want red-head babies, but I'm more attracted to red headed females then red headed boys. I think I'm slightly bi? Probably not enough to make me date females, but enough to be very attracted to certain types of females.
Forum Resident
#68 Old 23rd Oct 2011 at 6:17 AM
Hmm...Interesting. It is a tough question. In the end the choice of who you want to date is solely up to you and no one else. BUT...and that is a huge BUT...the real question is why. Ultimately, other than some differences here and there, all males have a penis and balls and all females have funbags and a vajayjay(why do women have such funny names for their body parts? That a question for another day...)and in theory and practice, can safely mate with each other. So why would a person exclude a race/s from their preferences? 8 times out of 10 it is due to societal influences rather than genetic requirements. The funny part is that a good percent of the people who say they don't date ____ have not actually dated said race.
Field Researcher
#69 Old 23rd Oct 2011 at 6:51 AM
It's partially part of a sexuality and a preference. Whichever way you wish to look at it. I forget the topic, but there was a good discussion on a person's sexuality which involved how they look at the other sex or what they look in the preferred sex.

Let me put it this way-It's not racist you aren't or are only attracted to a certain race. It is part of your sexual identity and in my own opinion just defines what you as a person prefer. No more and no less.
Forum Resident
#70 Old 23rd Oct 2011 at 7:09 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Ledgo
It's partially part of a sexuality and a preference. Whichever way you wish to look at it. I forget the topic, but there was a good discussion on a person's sexuality which involved how they look at the other sex or what they look in the preferred sex.

Let me put it this way-It's not racist you aren't or are only attracted to a certain race. It is part of your sexual identity and in my own opinion just defines what you as a person prefer. No more and no less.


Sexual Identity is highly influenced by society and can not solely be based on one's own opinion. Especially if you live in a country that is not as "racially harmonious" as the US.
Field Researcher
#71 Old 23rd Oct 2011 at 4:51 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Miko09
Sexual Identity is highly influenced by society and can not solely be based on one's own opinion. Especially if you live in a country that is not as "racially harmonious" as the US.


Influenced or not, it is who you are. In the end no one is forcing you to only date a certain race, or in general force your sexual identity-Only you have that call. The US is both racially intolerant, yet very tolerant. It all depends where you live and other non-sense I'm not dragging in.

No one can tell you who you can or cannot date if you are an adult. Only you have that choice on who you choose. Peer pressure and other elements may seem to pressure people either way, but it's mostly comes down to yourself. While someone may not wish to be public in the matter for what they may be viewed as or for whatever reason, they can still do it.

As much as our society influences either way of the sexuality spectrum, everything on it still goes. Interracial, interspecies, homosexuality, everything-It still happens despite what society will view on it, no matter if it's deemed acceptable or taboo.
Scholar
#72 Old 23rd Oct 2011 at 11:57 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Ledgo
No one can tell you who you can or cannot date if you are an adult.
This is the only thing you've said that I disagree with, in a global sense. Many cultures have social, religious, and even legal consequences for certain relationship. To not follow the society's wishes in these circumstances would cause social isolation, which takes away the choice. There are many examples of this, arranged marriage (especially in very traditionalist countries), gay dating/marriage, etc. And yes, arranged marriage is marriage, not dating, but how many people with arranged marriages are allowed to date and have boyfriends before marriage without being labelled a slut or whore?
Anyway, this is slightly off-topic from dating based on skin colour, but I just wanted to say how your statement is a bit too generalized and doesn't always apply.
Theorist
#73 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 2:13 AM
Quote: Originally posted by CinderEmma
Many cultures have social, religious, and even legal consequences for certain relationship.

Many cultures are racist.
Theorist
#74 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 3:36 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Mistermook
Many cultures are racist.

Very true, but her statement still applies.

Hi I'm Paul!
Forum Resident
#75 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 4:32 AM Last edited by Weisskreuz : 24th Oct 2011 at 1:21 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by Ledgo
Influenced or not, it is who you are. In the end no one is forcing you to only date a certain race, or in general force your sexual identity-Only you have that call. The US is both racially intolerant, yet very tolerant. It all depends where you live and other non-sense I'm not dragging in.

No one can tell you who you can or cannot date if you are an adult. Only you have that choice on who you choose. Peer pressure and other elements may seem to pressure people either way, but it's mostly comes down to yourself. While someone may not wish to be public in the matter for what they may be viewed as or for whatever reason, they can still do it.

As much as our society influences either way of the sexuality spectrum, everything on it still goes. Interracial, interspecies, homosexuality, everything-It still happens despite what society will view on it, no matter if it's deemed acceptable or taboo.


Sure, but I can tell you if you preference is racist.

You don't seem to understand how much affect society has in how humans view things. It's so very hard to go against what you've learned from a very young age. No matter how hard you try YOU WILL fall back onto those teachings in certain situations.

Quote: Originally posted by Hellfrozeover
I don't really think it's racist if you're basing your choice simply on what you're attracted to. Some people like red hair, some people don't. Some people like skinny people, some people like curves. Some people like dark skin, some people like milk-bottle white skin....and everything between.

People have no real choice over what they're sexually attracted to but they do have a choice over whether they discriminate or not based on someone's race. The latter is a problem but I don't think the former is.


I know a girl that identifies as black (as do both of her parents), she has curly light blond hair and green eyes, and medium brown skin. A guy that she liked, had expressed his preference for blonde hair but rejected her because she was a black woman. There are many more factors that go into preference other than just one.
It's not just "Hey, I like brown hair, I'm attracted to all brown-haired people EVAR!!! and that's the only thing that goes into my preference." It does not work that way. Some one might like "curves" but dislike large noses, dark skin, and kinky hair. Now, that's racist.

I don't believe preferences are set in stone. So, kind of iffy on this one.
 
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