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Replies: 31 (Who?), Viewed: 16712 times.
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Mootilda
Site Helper
#26 Old 7th Aug 2013 at 12:14 AM
That's much better.
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AnnaIME
Field Researcher
#27 Old 7th Aug 2013 at 11:40 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Mootilda
So, instead of letting women be people instead of slaves, just force them to become slaves to two different families. Great thinking!


That's kind of how it works in some areas of China, yes.

I think it's terrible. Get married, lose all connection to your birth family and become subservient to your husband and your mother-in-law. Don't get married, stay subservient to your birth family, plus your status is now the lowest of the low.

I have a friend. She's from rural Hubei, but like so many she has moved to industrial center Shenzhen. She is too old to get married now, she's 26 (GASP!!!). She is smart and educated, but her family is poor. Still, she has a good job and makes a decent wage, for China.

She has a mother, a younger brother and a sister-in-law. She shares a cheap rented room with her mother and they live very frugally. All her "extra" money goes to her brother, first to make him rich enough to marry, now to help pay for his house and to support his wife. When my friend comes home from her long work day, she is supposed to do all the housework. She even has to give up her bed and sleep om the floor when her brother is visiting.

They can provide grandchildren. She can't, so she has very little value.

It's not that her family doesn't love her and want what's best for her. They made sacrifices to send her to university. It's just that she is not a priority, now that she lost her chance at marriage.

And she just accepts all this. To me, the unfairness is unbearable. The her, this is just the way things are, nothing to get upset about.

Again, none of this is law. It's all tradition, and China is a big country and traditions vary.
bihem
Lab Assistant
#28 Old 10th Aug 2013 at 3:24 AM
Quote: Originally posted by AnnaIME
That's kind of how it works in some areas of China, yes.

I think it's terrible. Get married, lose all connection to your birth family and become subservient to your husband and your mother-in-law. Don't get married, stay subservient to your birth family, plus your status is now the lowest of the low.

I have a friend. She's from rural Hubei, but like so many she has moved to industrial center Shenzhen. She is too old to get married now, she's 26 (GASP!!!). She is smart and educated, but her family is poor. Still, she has a good job and makes a decent wage, for China.

She has a mother, a younger brother and a sister-in-law. She shares a cheap rented room with her mother and they live very frugally. All her "extra" money goes to her brother, first to make him rich enough to marry, now to help pay for his house and to support his wife. When my friend comes home from her long work day, she is supposed to do all the housework. She even has to give up her bed and sleep om the floor when her brother is visiting.

They can provide grandchildren. She can't, so she has very little value.

It's not that her family doesn't love her and want what's best for her. They made sacrifices to send her to university. It's just that she is not a priority, now that she lost her chance at marriage.

And she just accepts all this. To me, the unfairness is unbearable. The her, this is just the way things are, nothing to get upset about.

Again, none of this is law. It's all tradition, and China is a big country and traditions vary.



I have some understanding for Chinese culture and tradition; but that's just sad, i wish her the best, everyone deserves happiness.
blackthai95
Test Subject
#29 Old 10th Aug 2013 at 4:48 AM
I strongly disagree with the law. There's no need for such govenment interference. China has been known for their consevatism and authoritarianism. As a result many of their laws are considered as "drastic" and "forceful". Once I read that the song "Last Friday Night" of Katy Perry was banned in China for having "sensitive" lyrics @@
M.M.A.A.
Mad Poster
#30 Old 12th Aug 2013 at 11:36 PM
Quote: Originally posted by AnnaIME
In some parts of rural China, a daughter is traditionally like property. She is transfered to the husbands family when she marries. Her connection to her birth family is considered severed. It doesn't matter if she is the only child, it doesn't matter if she is homesick, or if her parents need her. If her new family says no, she has no right to "abandon" her duties to her husbands family to even go see them. All of this is tradition, not law, but some parts of China are very traditional.

Except now there is this law. The law says that she has obligations to her birth family. The connection is not broken, she is still a daughter to her parents. Her new family HAS to let her see them.


Well, this is one good thing as to why the law is present, it gives her some freedom.
Pygsmyemm
Instructor
#31 Old 26th May 2014 at 5:22 AM
Very bad idea because some parents are just awful people who do not care for their kids at all and treat them horribly and some parents in these countries are particurly hard on their kids and expect way too much.
 
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