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Theorist
Original Poster
#1 Old 5th Jun 2009 at 1:08 AM
Default Self Harm
Okay, I had a quite a heated argument with a friend today about self-harm, especially self harm and drinking and smoking, and I just wondered what everyone here thought about it. Basically she argued that for her someone drinking or smoking, even in moderation, is self harm. Obviously when it comes down to it, it does harm your body, but she places it on the same level as self inflicted cuts, burns etc.


She also argued that no one would truly want to hurt themselves unless it was for attention. I found these remarks quite offensive and upsetting because at my high school self harm was a big problem, even if the faculty preferred to deny it. I would say that at least 1/3 of the girls in my homeroom self harmed at some point, possibly even 1/2 of them and as it was an all girls school that's half the class. One girl even slit her wrists in English and then left the room crying and the teacher did nothing. Yes, some of them were very obvious about what they were doing, for instance cutting their upper arm and rolling their shirts/jumpers up for us all to see (in fact this is how I know so many were doing it), but I also knew several girls who were intensely private and ashamed of what they were doing, and I think it was extrememly ignorant of my friend to say that these girls were attention seeking considering that the US has the 3rd highest number of deaths from self-harm in the world (Russia is 1st, Japan 2nd). That's pretty high price to pay just for some attention.


We also argued over the right of a self-harmer to be treated for self inflicted wounds. Should someone have the right to take up hopsital time for something they caused themselves when the time and skill of doctors could be used to treat "genuinely" (I am in no way saying that people with mental health issues are not ill, hence the quotation marks) sick people? Does this make self harmers selfish because in a way they have a choice?

"Your life was a liner I voyaged in."
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Inventor
#2 Old 5th Jun 2009 at 2:02 AM
Although smoking and drinking is harmful to one's self, unless it is turning into a self-destructive behaviour - for example, chronic alcoholism, I don't think it can be classified as 'self harm'. Drinking and smoking in moderation definitely doesn't rate alongside self-inflicted injuries in my opinion.

Arguing that self-harm is purely for attention - I too find those remarks deeply, deeply offensive. I've no doubt that there are many, mainly girls, who do do it for this reason; I remember a number at high school who were much as you describe - wearing tops to display cuts and scars, making reference to their harming, etc.

But I'll also take a deep breath and speak as someone who has self-harmed in the past. I used to cut myself - mainly on my upper arms where nobody would ever see. I was very depressed, and in severe pain from my then-undiagnosed CRPS (a neuropathic pain disorder) that had developed following a knee operation when I was 14. At 16, I had my surgeon telling me the pain was in my head, no real support from family or friends and although it probably makes no sense to anyone else, cutting helped both to release some of the tension and distract me from the pain in my leg. With no access to outside help, it was the only way I could deal with things. I think there are two people who know me in real life, who know that I used to harm myself - I don't see how that can be described as attention seeking.

You mentioned choice - for some people, I'm not sure that there is a choice as such. I think it's more of a compulsion, something they are driven to do, rather than something that they have clear and conscious control over. And yes, I do believe that they have the right to medical treatment. If they're causing serious damage to themselves then I think that there has to be underlying mental illness of some kind, and they need all the help they can get.

Please call me Laura
"The gene pool needs more chlorine."
My Site
Lab Assistant
#3 Old 5th Jun 2009 at 3:26 PM
Let her think what she wants. Life will teach her differently. If she wants to believe that smoking and drinking (in moderation) is self-harm and people who cut are just doing it for attention without even looking at the individual...let her.

I don't believe there's any group of people you generalize like that and be 100% right. Like Laura said, there are people who do it for attention, but there are SO many we never know about.

And, about the alcohol, there are a lot of benefits to drinking in moderation. Some were known even in biblical times. Sure, alcohol can hurt you, but if you don't drink a whole big bunch and make a pig out of yourself with it it's good for you.
Instructor
#4 Old 5th Jun 2009 at 4:02 PM
some people hide the scars. no one even knows. you can't say that's for attention.

“When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?”-Marilyn Manson
Forum Resident
#5 Old 5th Jun 2009 at 4:44 PM
I really hate when people say it's only for attention. That's absolute bull. They should feel glad they've never had to experience it, and therefore cannot understand.

I used to cut, and I hated anyone to see or know about it. It's not about attention at all, most of the time. And even in some cases when it is for attention, maybe the self-harmer believes that's the best way to let people know what's happening to them?

One of my friends was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and she's been cutting again, and she's ashamed to wear short sleeves. Would your friend say she does it for attention?

I'll never understand shallow, judgemental people. How they can live with themselves...
*breathes*

Rant over.
Instructor
#6 Old 6th Jun 2009 at 8:02 PM
I don't drink to self-harm myself unless I do it as the way to commit suicide with also taking my pills. For me, I drink moderately and think if you don't drink while depressed and don't drink too much in excess (like alcoholism and drug addiction), then it's alright. But cutting yourself is the major risk factor for suicide and must be treated because there are a lot of people that are committing suicide these days because of unresolved problems with their lives and mental disorder. I can tell you for the fact since I'm Bi/Polar and/or Schizoaffective with Asperger's that I have a lot of trouble dealing with not committing suicide or cutting myself. I used to be hospitalized for several times and I'm still worried about going to the hospital based on mom's whim.

Like if I have mom removed from me, I'll be okay. But if someone has their mom removed from them, they're be worse off than Jon and Kate's family (which I heard has a lot of problems lately). But still having a mental health problems doesn't mean you can't have kids or that you can't have a job or be independent. It means you just need help with some things like meds and other stuff.

But I don't think self-harm is the way to get attention. It is the way to escape problems like running away because you don't have the resources to cope with the problem. Even if you talk about self-harm, more likely than not you are able to self-harm or even kill yourself. When I was in county jail, the cops said that I'm just asking for pity when I'm trying to kill myself. I was tramatized because of the suicidal mood that I was in. I wasn't asking for pity but I was trying to run away from my problems.

God, please protect me from your idiot followers for they have blinded themselves with bleach.

Money doesn't buy you happiness but it buys you beer and coffee.

Life is like Go. Its takes smart and amoral people to make decisions based on their strategies of living.
Lab Assistant
#7 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 1:01 AM Last edited by jillbean : 7th Jun 2009 at 1:04 PM.
Sorry but your friend sounds like she totally lacks the ability to empathise.

In relation to if someone drinking or smoking, even in moderation, is self harm. It depends on what you count as self harm. Technically it is as it harms yourself. Although if your using it as a comparasent to cutting etc they are not the same although they do sometimes go hand in hand. For example a person who smokes or drinks does not do so with the intention of geting lung cancer or liver disease. Where as self harm is deliberate damage to your body, for what ever reason.

As for the attention part. Of course some people do it for the attention. They want their lives to be more intresting, people to pay attention to them, but i would not class these as real self harmers. Although you have to ask if someone is willing to do that just to get attention is there not some bigger problem at hand.
There are also the people who will only make it ovbious in the presence of friends or family on an occasion as they do not know how to reach out and ask for help.
Or there are the people who do not want anyone to know, friends or family. Who are ashamed of what they have done, And who think up of stories before hand to explain any cuts just incase it is noticed infornt of someone. I would say the majority or self harmers fall into this catogory.

Self harm is caused by depresion, mental heath problems etc. And is used for a coping mechanisum. Would you refuse (and im using you in the loose term this is not aimed at you) medical care to someone who had drank to much due to depresion, no you wouldnt. Self harm is still taboo. This is due to to lack of understanding. You cant see the damage so clearly of acholisam sp? Once you see self harm, its very in your face. Its hard to understand how someone can feel so depresed as to hurt themselfs like that. Also because the majority of people hide it, most people dont know they are coming into contact with people who self harm, and that they are surrounded by people suffering.

In regards to dening medical care in the america there is actually a bill of rights for people who self harm.

1.The right to caring, humane medical treatment


2.The right to participate fully in decisions about emergency psychiatric treatment, so long as no one’s life is in immediate danger

3.The right to body privacy


4.The right to have the feelings behind the SI validated


5.The right to disclose to whom they choose only what they choose


6.The right to choose what coping mechanisms they will use


7.The right to have care providers who are not afraid of SI


8.The right to have the role SI has played as a coping mechanism validated


9.The right not to be automatically considered a dangerous person simply because of self-inflicted injury

10.The right to have self-injury regarded as an attempt to communicate, not manipulate

You would not deny medical care to acholics, drug addics etc.

As everyone is being honsest in this thread so will i. I have suffered with self harm since i was 13 (im now 22) although over the past few years i have stoped for months, at ages 14-16 i was regularly cutting 4/5 times a week sometimes everyday. And to be honest the thought of taking away the little support that is out there is scary. When i was 15 i had a failed suicide attempt (thank god) whilst at the hospital i was told that i was a silly little girl and that it was a stupid thing to do. After i was forced to go to one 1 hour sesion with a psychologist in which i didnt speak one word, And that was it, no follow on, nothing. At school once one of my teachers noticed blood on my shirt from a cut and told my head of year (another teacher) who then procided to try to talk to me about it in the school libary where there was a whole class of people i knew. After that everyone knew about it. And i was teased and bullied for it. I dont think there is enough help out there. And the people who deal day to day with vunerable people/ children such as teachers dont have the correct or any training on how to deal with these situations. It is because of close minded people, that people hide this problem away and dont get the help they need for it.

My name is Jill. But i am not a bean. Not a baked bean, not a lima bean not even a jelly bean . . . . . . . . Ok maybe a jelly bean.
Instructor
#8 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 1:32 AM
Nice to know another recovering cutter there. There is very few awareness about self-harm and suicide due to the taboo about it. The word, "taboo" comes from the word being both "Menstruation" and the "Curse". Even in the bible, it talks about ways of self harm that we don't even think about like Tattoos since your body is not supposed to be the temple to the devil in ancient Judaic times due to the pagans putting tattoos on their bodies or even Alcohol. If you talk to the bible theologian they will say that drugs are technically self harm to the temple and that if you're cremated, God is not going to accept you into Heaven. Of course, any theologian is not as suitably suited to the work of saving people from the ravages of the mental crisis like the doctor world unless they work with one or are one.

So technically self harm is as varied as even hitting yourself with the book if you do that to kill yourself or hurt yourself.

God, please protect me from your idiot followers for they have blinded themselves with bleach.

Money doesn't buy you happiness but it buys you beer and coffee.

Life is like Go. Its takes smart and amoral people to make decisions based on their strategies of living.
Lab Assistant
#9 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 1:55 AM
I agree with you about how varied it can be although i dissagree about trying to kill yourself being classed as self harm

Favazza (1998) states, quite definitively, that
. . . self-mutilation is distinct from suicide. Major reviews have upheld this distinction. . . A basic understanding is that a person who truly attempts suicide seeks to end all feelings whereas a person who self-mutilates seeks to feel better.

Favazza also catogrised self harm into pathological (cutting, burning etc) and cultural (tattoos and body modification)

On the whole i think it depends what sort of self harm you are talking about - self harm led to from depresion - the topic of this thread

Or the more general sense of the term self harm which would include anything you do on purpose which ultimatly leads to damage of your body. Be it the afore mentioned definition of self harm, or smoking, tattoos etc.

My name is Jill. But i am not a bean. Not a baked bean, not a lima bean not even a jelly bean . . . . . . . . Ok maybe a jelly bean.
Inventor
#10 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 10:14 AM
I had plenty of friends who self-harmed, and i mean one of them WAS just doing it for attention (she'd cut all her arms up then come in the next day and show EVERYONE!!! even people she didn't know that well...) and another girl just did it to fit in (she'd have like, cat scratches on her arm and ACT like she was really depressed :/)

but alot of people i know had real reasons, like one of my friends - her step dad was always calling her fat, ugly, worthless & stupid, and if she spoke back he'd hit her, and he mum never did anything about it.
and myself, my mum was on drugs and i live with my nan who had a really short temper, and i'd started to develop one too, and it didn't hepl that my sister had developed a habbit of swearing at me for no reason, so i'd snap, go crazy, then cry a ton. the only way to calm down was to self harm, or if i'd do it befor the snap, then i'd be fine. and it wasn't like, everyday, casue if i got stressed, just looking at the cut would calm me down, and the bigger/redder/deeper it was, the more it would work (sounds abit weird i know)

but because the girl who was showing her's off to every tom, dick and harry was a friend of mine and my sister saw her doind it, and i was always waring wristbands, she got mum to make me pull it up, i'd just done a fresh one so it looked realy bad and everone got really upset and they just kept checking my arm every few days :/

Becasue i had no relese (i don't smoke and i never drink) i got really depressed and was upset alot, but then again, i guess it was the bes thing for me cause it forced me to stop, and i've only done it afew times since then, and the last time i think was about 2 years ago.

and as for smoking and drinking i think it should all be banned. the world would be a better place without any of it.
Lab Assistant
#11 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 12:59 PM
Im sorry about that, but im glad your geting better.

Abit off topic from the original post but still holds some relevence.

Quote:
and as for smoking and drinking i think it should all be banned. the world would be a better place without any of it.


Have you heard of prohibition. It was an amazing failure. It banned alcohol in America. Many gangs poped up making transporting and selling bootleg drink. The cost of policeing it was to much and so many states just turned a blind eye. It also resulted in a loss of taxes for the goverment (from the sale of alcohol) and many buisnesses such as breweries went out of buisness.

The answer is not always to just force people to stop things.

My name is Jill. But i am not a bean. Not a baked bean, not a lima bean not even a jelly bean . . . . . . . . Ok maybe a jelly bean.
Theorist
Original Poster
#12 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 2:06 PM
I'm glad so many of you seem to agree with me that my friend was completely out of order, although I have a feeling we're not friends anymore since we renewed the argument the next day and it ended quite badly.

Jillbean, it was interesting to hear about the bill of rights with regards to self harm. I know several people who have faced very hostile treatment when seeking medical attention for self injuries, including doctors actually refusing to give them pain killers when giving them stitches because they obviously like pain. I was pretty sickened when I heard that.

And I completely agree with you about it still being a taboo. I actually started self harming at 13 too (naturally my friend didn't know this when we had the argument), and my year head also found out. She pulled me out of French class and took my to the principal, refusing to tell me why we were going. She left me sitting outside the principal's office for almost an hour, and I was crying hysterically but the one teacher who stopped to ask if I was okay was told to leave me alone by her. She also called my parents and all hell broke loose their. Fortunately the principal was far more understanding but the year head had already done her damage by the time I saw the principal. I was utterly horrified at having anyone know, and I convinced my parents that I'd only done it as a dare because they were furious. Even now, 6 and a half years later, I will do anything to hide the scars on my arm from everyone, even though on the whole I don't cut anymore. I have three friends who know, and I only told them because I was certain they wouldn't judge me for it either because they had cut themselves or had said something to convince me they would not judge me for it. Plus I never really see 2 of them because of where we live so I know I don't have to face them and have them know.

I can't believe I just said on the internet that I used to cut considering the entire world can see this, but I don't even tell my friends or boyfriends in real life, but seeing as everyone else has had the courage to admit it and I actually started this debate, I will say it.

"Your life was a liner I voyaged in."
Lab Assistant
#13 Old 7th Jun 2009 at 3:26 PM
I felt the same way, as this is not a forum just for this kind of thing. But i thought nobody actually knows me, so lets be honest. That thing about the doctor is terrible. It seams like the people who need the training the most dont actually have it. How can we expect people like your friend to be open minded and compasionate when doctors, nurses an teachers arnt.

I dont think these people think about how much harm they are actually doing. Because of many situations involving doctors and nurses such as i mentioned before (it was a nurse who told me that by the way) i now have a fear of doctors and even if somthing is really wrong i wont go to one. Because i dont trust them.

My parents know (because of my school), most of my friends,and everyone i went to school with knows (because of my school) my boyfriend knows. Hes very understanding. But i told a preivous boyfriend (only because i have very visible scars which im unable to hide in the summer) and he just started laughing at me. Goes with out saying that didnt last long. There are very few people that i have actually decided to tell (stupid school)

My name is Jill. But i am not a bean. Not a baked bean, not a lima bean not even a jelly bean . . . . . . . . Ok maybe a jelly bean.
Instructor
#14 Old 9th Jun 2009 at 3:54 PM
Sure, there are those who do it just to get attention, but these are not real self-harmers. The real ones usually do everything in their power to hide it. Well, at least I made sure nobody would see it. I never did anything that would cause a permanent damage, I had to be creative...

For me it was a way to avoid committing a suicide, a true life-saver. What many people don't understand is that physical pain can be a great way to numb the pain you feel inside. Physical pain is easy, uncomplicated, it clears your mind and gives you a moment of inner peace. It allows you to take a deep breath and just ... exist, like an animal, not a tortured human soul, at least for a few seconds.

I don't do it anymore but I feel no regret for my past.
Lab Assistant
#15 Old 10th Jun 2009 at 5:59 AM
wow, your friend sounds a little uneducated to be making statements like that!

I dont think alcohol and smokin can be classed as self harm (unless, as longears said, it progresses into a serious addiction), hedonistic yes, but self harm, nope.

In the case of actual bodily harm, I think every case need to be treated individually.

When I was in High school, there was a phase of people scratching their selves until a really ugly, massive (oh, i'm cringing), pussy, weepy scabby thing came up. It was called chicken burns and was ''cool'' (and no, i so didnt!) And after the awarness campaign on self harmin happened here, there was alot a phase of the ''cool'' kids doing this, proudly displaying their scratches, so I agree, there are some idiots who think it's a great way to get attention.

BUT, when I was at uni, i was out wi a lass I adored and she went missing for ages when we were out one day. I finally tracked her down to the tiolets where i found she'd smashed a glass and cut her arm so deep i though i was goni have to drag her to hospital. She was mortified that i had ''caught'' her (i had to keek over the cubical to make sure she really was ok) and begged me not to tell anyone and promised to get help, etc. She (finally) got councilling and antidepressents and she's doing great now but when we had a really long chat about it, she pretty much said what Oprah said.

I think these ''cool'' kids have made it appear to the general public that it is just a phase and not a big problem, when it is serious and needs to be treated as such.

As lazy as a rug on vallium
Lab Assistant
#16 Old 12th Jun 2009 at 3:07 AM
I was a 2 year SI, I only stopped after my 3d time in the Psych ward and Septic Shock, which I nearly died because of a severely infected cutting wound. My mother believes like your friend, it's only for attention, I beg to differ. The only reason why I don't wear long sleeves all the time because I've lost my shame, and I'm not going to let my past ruin my happiness, feeling guilt for my SI or stop enjoying the things that I couldn't do in long-sleeves. SI and depression are real issues, your heart can be ill, why not your brain?
Inept Troll
#17 Old 17th Jun 2009 at 1:43 AM
Your friend is right- people take up smoking to look cool, which is a way to get attention, and drinking makes you sociable, which translates into more attention.

Wrist-cutting is for lusers, but all they want is attention and maybe get onto an episod of Dr.Phil.

Don't feed the trolls.
Instructor
#18 Old 17th Jun 2009 at 2:32 AM
Quote: Originally posted by SirVictory
Your friend is right- people take up smoking to look cool, which is a way to get attention, and drinking makes you sociable, which translates into more attention.

Wrist-cutting is for lusers, but all they want is attention and maybe get onto an episod of Dr.Phil.


How do you like it if you cut your wrist and you're suicidal and all I do is call you a idiot for it?

Wrist cutting is different than attention getting. I'll make sure you get banned if you don't shape up.

God, please protect me from your idiot followers for they have blinded themselves with bleach.

Money doesn't buy you happiness but it buys you beer and coffee.

Life is like Go. Its takes smart and amoral people to make decisions based on their strategies of living.
Inventor
#19 Old 17th Jun 2009 at 3:01 AM
Quote: Originally posted by SirVictory
Wrist-cutting is for lusers, but all they want is attention and maybe get onto an episod of Dr.Phil.
Do you have any idea how offensive your comment is? You've obviously never suffered from depression or known anyone who has, or never in a million years would you make such such a statement.

Please call me Laura
"The gene pool needs more chlorine."
My Site
Lab Assistant
#20 Old 17th Jun 2009 at 8:41 PM
Quote: Originally posted by SirVictory
Your friend is right- people take up smoking to look cool, which is a way to get attention, and drinking makes you sociable, which translates into more attention.

Wrist-cutting is for lusers, but all they want is attention and maybe get onto an episod of Dr.Phil.

While attention seeking behaviour can lead to wrist cutting, it's not really the same idea as self harm. Wrist cutting for attention is just that - for attention. We're discussing people who self harm for other reasons, such as people who are insecure and dislike themselves, or those who suffer from depression and are seeking for an outlet of negative emotion.
Alchemist
#21 Old 17th Jun 2009 at 10:14 PM
Quote: Originally posted by BewitchedPrue
We also argued over the right of a self-harmer to be treated for self inflicted wounds. Should someone have the right to take up hopsital time for something they caused themselves when the time and skill of doctors could be used to treat "genuinely" (I am in no way saying that people with mental health issues are not ill, hence the quotation marks) sick people? Does this make self harmers selfish because in a way they have a choice?


i agree that not everyone who has harmed themselves [ be it smoking, drinking, or cutting ] has done so for attention.granted there ARE some who do it for attention, but there are others still who do not.
during a 2 year depression, i was one of those people. i would cut, burn, and overdose on pills. but it was NOT to get attention... in fact, i was so obsessed with keeping it secret that nobody found out until i recovered myself. but the reason i even did those things were out of self loathing... basically, beating myself up. *scratches head*
however, some people do not have the intent of beating themselves to death. sometimes, they cut a little too deep or pass out a little too long. should they be denied assistance when they ask for it?
my answer is no. no, those people should not be denied help if they seek it.
even those people who seek attention by it shouldnt be denied if theyre ready to harm themselves to the extent it would take to require a hospital visit.
i wouldnt say that people who mutilate themselves are selfish. theyre just, not comfortable inside their own skin. they dont like themselves; does that mean they have to run around pretending to be OK like everyone else?
my answer would be no, yet again.
and even people like me, who have made a full recovery, without pills or hospitals or anything, will still feel at odds with themselves deep down, mostly because there are things that we cannot change, regardless of money, status, or physical/mental abilities.

ive noticed that a lot of that purely judgmental talk comes from inexperience. and im not saying that theyre STUPID or MEAN or anything, just...ignorant. innocent, in a way. theyve never felt it or done it themselves, so they wouldnt know the reasons behind doing it.

ah and on a more practical note, my father took up smoking because he liked how it made him feel more relaxed. and later on he couldnt quit.
it had nothing at all to do with looking cool or feeling cool, or getting attention. in fact im sure he wouldve never taken it up if he'd known how much his family wouldve disdained him for it in his future.

one of the ways you can tell an attention seeker from a truly intent self mutilator is by the direction of the cut, if they choose the wrist. most self mutilators are very well informed and know exactly what theyre doing when they injure themselves. an attention seeker may just slit their wrists from one end to the other. a self mutilator, or someone intent on destroying themselves, would know to cut along the vein, vertically.

ah and also another interesting tidbit is that ive heard that some self mutilators cut themselves as a stress relief. something about watching blood is soothing, to them...so it can be easy to imagine why that might get out of hand and they might accidentally bleed to death or something.

[ i forgot the piece on drinking. xD OH YES THERES MORE.
so for drinking, my father did that too. but he said it was because it relieved his pain... im talking about arthritis. and it didnt make him more sociable, when he drank, it just made him really sleepy.
you see, alcohol effects people differently. there are angry alcoholics, there are sleepy alcoholics, happy alcoholics, lusty alcoholics... so trying to say that they all want to achieve ONE result, is foolish.
alcohol is said to amplify what you feel most strongly, or what you attempt to repress. therefore if you feel like shit when you drink, youre not going to turn into Mr Happy Fun Times. or at least, thats what ive heard...im not a drinker, myself.
ive also heard that some people drink to escape reality. likewise with doing drugs. ]
Lab Assistant
#22 Old 18th Jun 2009 at 4:07 PM
Quote: Originally posted by SuicidiaParasidia
one of the ways you can tell an attention seeker from a truly intent self mutilator is by the direction of the cut, if they choose the wrist. most self mutilators are very well informed and know exactly what theyre doing when they injure themselves. an attention seeker may just slit their wrists from one end to the other. a self mutilator, or someone intent on destroying themselves, would know to cut along the vein, vertically.


Although i agree with you on your other points i have to dissagree with you on that one. To classify some one just because of the direction of the cut could be harmful to a true self harmer.

I will use myself as an example. When i first started self harming there was not nearly as much awarness as there is now. Also there were very few places online or otherwise to talk to people who also self harmed. And if there were i was far to young to even think of going out and looking for them. As a result i was not "well informed" and cut sideways not vertically. This did not make me an attention seeker. It was just how a felt more comftable doing it.

Although there are attention seekers out there i dont think we should close anyone out just because of what we suspect. Would you rather have wasted some time helping someone who really didnt need it or cut someone off from help.

My name is Jill. But i am not a bean. Not a baked bean, not a lima bean not even a jelly bean . . . . . . . . Ok maybe a jelly bean.
Field Researcher
#23 Old 18th Jun 2009 at 4:38 PM
I completely disagree with anyone who thinks that self-harming is only for attention. People who self-harm might not neccessarily have mental health problems but they do it for a reason. Even if someone only does it once or shows their wounds to others, it should be taken very seriously. My older brother used to self-harm as a teenager and it was only found out after a long time. Up until a few months ago, he carried on self-harming and although he didn't show his scars to anyone, he didn't cover them up either. I don't believe that elements such as the direction in which you cut yourself and whether or not you hide your scars mark the difference between true self-harming and attention-seeking. In my eyes anyone who self-harms is not doing it for attention.

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." - Mark Twain
Inventor
#24 Old 18th Jun 2009 at 6:48 PM
Quote: Originally posted by SuicidiaParasidia
one of the ways you can tell an attention seeker from a truly intent self mutilator is by the direction of the cut, if they choose the wrist. most self mutilators are very well informed and know exactly what theyre doing when they injure themselves. an attention seeker may just slit their wrists from one end to the other. a self mutilator, or someone intent on destroying themselves, would know to cut along the vein, vertically.
I too would strongly disagree with this. Paradoxically, one of the reasons I used to cut was as a form of very temporary pain relief. As I said in my other post, I have very severe chronic pain and I used to use cutting as a means of distraction from that, not as a suicide attempt. My scars run in all different directions, but they certainly weren't attention seeking in any way, shape or form.

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#25 Old 18th Jun 2009 at 7:48 PM
*shrug* our experiences differ. i respect that.
 
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